Whatever She Wants: A love letter to Phoebe Bridgers and Punisher
2019, sometime in summer, 5:15am, I woke up on a friend’s couch to the sun shining in my face and the sound of a woman playing an acoustic guitar. "Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time. And that's just how I feel, always have and I always will." The lyrics were striking but intriguing nonetheless, I realized I had fallen asleep listening to some album that had clearly long passed, and I was now listening to whatever Spotify had decided I needed to hear that night. I don’t know how much I believe in things like destiny and fate, but I do feel very lucky that my body had chosen to wake me up to that song specifically. I added it to my library and quickly fell back asleep, and for the next year or so I found myself returning to that song more and more. It’s excruciatingly sad, with the main focus of the song literally being a child’s funeral, but it’s a pain that I seemed to tempt myself with more often than was good for me. Even still, I didn’t visit the rest of Phoebe Bridger’s discography until months later. I’m not sure why considering how fond I was of Funeral, but it wasn’t until after her next release that I became the “Pharb” I am today.
Harold Clarke is Happy.
The door creaked shut, as a young woman briskly left suite #402 of The Mapleshade condo complex. It was about 3:30 pm in Idaho Falls, Idaho, as a man in his late 60s finished bidding a pleasant farewell to his granddaughter, Allison. After several labored hours, she was able to finally show her grandfather how to check his email, which was unsurprisingly bursting messages. He always appreciated her visits, even when the bulk of their time was usually spent by Allison doing tech support. Still, he always tried to sneak in questions about her personal life while she was hard at work. She’s quite the secret keeper, so any news about a possible new boyfriend or an annoying coworker was a win in his book. When she had finished her complimentary coffee and was sure her grandfather could get back onto Gmail on his own, they said their goodbyes and he watched her drive away. That was the highlight of his week.