Nothing is Angstier Than Evanescence
I love that feeling when I hear a melody that somehow causes butterflies in my stomach and it’s all I can do to sit still and not get up and dance with the music. A euphoric wave envelopes me for just a minute or two and I can’t concentrate on anything but rather devote all my brainpower to the song and extend that dopamine rush as long as possible, which of course means I play that shit on repeat.
Pfizer Dose #1: Here's What Happened
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, guys! And the way we get closer to that light is by GETTING VACCINATED! As a healthy young adult who does not work as a healthcare worker, first responder, or essential worker, I didn’t expect to be vaccinated until June-ish. Even when the State of California announced that any adult aged 16+ would be eligible for vaccination on April 15th, I thought, “that is such a huge demographic, there's no way I'll get an appointment any time soon.”
I Was THAT Bridesmaid
On June 6th, 2020, one of my best friends got married, and I was lucky enough to be one of her bridesmaids. It was honestly one of the best experiences I’ve ever had, and it’s a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life. I was not the maid of honor, but the bride decided there were a couple tasks I might be a little better suited for than the maid of honor, such as planning the bachelorette party, so I was given some bridesmaid duties.
I’d never seen a zero before, but as I looked into the eyes of the barista who handed me my black coffee, I couldn’t see anything else. Like a flashing neon sign blocking his physical features, demanding my attention. Before this moment, the lowest number I’d ever seen was a 3, from a passing stranger who’d hopped on the bus at the last second. I’ll never know if he made a choice to grow his number or if that’s all he was left with.
You Gonna Join Me, Girl?
April 11th, 2021 The nine month anniversary of my husband’s death passed just a few days ago. It still hurts to think about the last time I’d seen him, just after his COVID test had come back positive and he’d been carted off to the hospital. I’d contracted it as well, just like 80% of the retirement home we were living in, but my symptoms hadn't even warranted a hospital stay. They moved me to a different home after that, and I’ve been here ever since. Just as well, I’d rather live in a place that didn’t have Theo’s memory anyway.
“DEREK!” I screamed again, my throat growing more and more raw each time. “DEREK!” My screams were getting weaker as smoke infiltrated my lungs and made it difficult to breathe. The speed of my running was slowing, the tears streaming down my face increasing. I felt like I was in an oven, the temperature increasing every second as the forest burned around me. My lungs felt like they were on fire themselves from the lack of oxygen and overuse. I was inhaling more smoke than air and I could only assume I’d already gotten several burns from all the close encounters, but shock and adrenaline muted the pain.
I'll Give You Something To Cry About
“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!” I yell, causing my dog to jump off my lap and retreat into my bedroom. I forcibly restrain myself from chucking my glass of wine at my television as the tingling/stinging sensation rears up behind my eyes, the telltale sign that I’m about to start bawling. “WHAT KIND OF CRACKPOT MOVIE IS THIS?!” I continue to yell as something heartbreaking happens on the screen and I proceed to ugly cry over fictional characters.