You Gonna Join Me, Girl?
April 11th, 2021 The nine month anniversary of my husband’s death passed just a few days ago. It still hurts to think about the last time I’d seen him, just after his COVID test had come back positive and he’d been carted off to the hospital. I’d contracted it as well, just like 80% of the retirement home we were living in, but my symptoms hadn't even warranted a hospital stay. They moved me to a different home after that, and I’ve been here ever since. Just as well, I’d rather live in a place that didn’t have Theo’s memory anyway.
Because You Like Him
I wipe the sweat off my hands onto my skinny jeans and command them to stop trembling. Why didn’t I ask him what kind of wine he drinks? I think to myself as I awkwardly stand ogling all the different wines in the middle of Safeway.
“DEREK!” I screamed again, my throat growing more and more raw each time. “DEREK!” My screams were getting weaker as smoke infiltrated my lungs and made it difficult to breathe. The speed of my running was slowing, the tears streaming down my face increasing. I felt like I was in an oven, the temperature increasing every second as the forest burned around me. My lungs felt like they were on fire themselves from the lack of oxygen and overuse. I was inhaling more smoke than air and I could only assume I’d already gotten several burns from all the close encounters, but shock and adrenaline muted the pain.
I was introduced to your videos circa 2010-2011(ish). I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, and my best friend at the time was sleeping over at my house when she showed me your video “What Bitches Wear to the Airport.”
I'll Give You Something To Cry About
“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!” I yell, causing my dog to jump off my lap and retreat into my bedroom. I forcibly restrain myself from chucking my glass of wine at my television as the tingling/stinging sensation rears up behind my eyes, the telltale sign that I’m about to start bawling. “WHAT KIND OF CRACKPOT MOVIE IS THIS?!” I continue to yell as something heartbreaking happens on the screen and I proceed to ugly cry over fictional characters.
I’d never seen a zero before, but as I looked into the eyes of the barista who handed me my black coffee, I couldn’t see anything else. Like a flashing neon sign blocking his physical features, demanding my attention. Before this moment, the lowest number I’d ever seen was a 3, from a passing stranger who’d hopped on the bus at the last second. I’ll never know if he made a choice to grow his number or if that’s all he was left with.
5 Years and Counting
Have you ever had one event that shifts your perspective on life? Or maybe one event that led to a domino effect that eventually led to a shift in perspective?
Just Call Me Energizer Bunny
Daylight Savings Time is stupid. I don’t know a single person who likes it, myself included. In the fall, I love the extra hour of sleep, but abhor how the sun sets at 4:30pm and I feel like I’ve been plunged into a never-ending sea of darkness.