Good Books!
It was a lazy Sunday. My work colleagues wanted to have a get-together, and here I was sitting in a well known cafe, waiting for brunch to start, fiddling with my fingers, thinking about the topics that would interest them. Our conversations started with how mean our Manager is and how to tackle his temper, how we need to be in his good books since inflation is skyrocketing and we need to pay our bills, yada yada. I am really bad at keeping up with long talks so for me the conversation was getting lethargic but i have to partake in it otherwise they will think I’m the snitch who would pass on every note to our manager. Honestly, as an introvert, I was suffocating, agreeing with their points for my scapegoat. I have to nod my head on everything they say. At one point, I thought they were brawling and I could feel my sudden impulse to shut them all up. That’s when the waft from the paratas and coffee caught all my senses and I rushed to get my brunch. At the table, we were discussing all the designer bags and again I had to jump in otherwise they will think I am a miser who is not living her life. And they will pity me. This is the last thing I wanted in my life. I sighed as the burden of the conversation was getting its toll on me but I need to be in their good books. Remember! Only I know why I am here. To socialize with them so they would think I’m one of them. I was thinking about the other trip to the brunch buffet table, when a colleague of mine started a small talk. Honestly, I did not even know what he was ranting about, as I was yearning for some more coffee or tea whichever comes first. I unconsciously agreed with him on whatever reasons he was debating about. I nodded and said, "Oh, I guess I have to go and pick up some groceries on my way. That didn’t sit very well with him or the rest of the group. I was done sitting with them. We bid our adieus, and i sighed again. I felt, I had been sighing a lot for the past hour, but this time it was a bit different. This was a sigh of relief. The street in front of the cafe was congested, and I was looking around for a quick escape from their eyes because I knew they are looking at me and must be talking about my evident excuse. I looked around nervously and barged into a shop that was in front of the cafe. Darn! I knew I made a mistake because they all saw me coming here. It was a book shop. It smelled like rotten leaves, but surprisingly, it was very welcoming. It has been a long time—perhaps years that I have not read a single book. The surroundings took me back to my school days when I used to love reading books. It was my escape from the world around me. The teacher would be teaching in the class and i would be hiding my story book under the course book. The happiness, the excitement, the sudden urge to smell the new book encapsulated me and I couldn’t control my emotions. I felt a tear in my eye. This book store took me wistfully to the days, when I was free. No worry could bother me as long as I had my book with me. I didn’t need any friends as long as I knew I had so many words to see. I don’t need any vacations as I know the book I am reading will teleport me to the land only known to my imagination. I sighed again and this time, it let out all the mugginess inside me. I felt free again. I don’t know for how long the shopkeeper was noticing me. Suddenly, he said, ‘ seems like you found your way back home’ and I said ‘Yes, Yes’. ‘There’ and he handed over a book The Power of Now." This is just what I needed. I reconnected with my lost purpose again. I broke away from the shackles of ‘yesterday’ and entered the realm of freedom by accepting the power of now. Your mind is your cage. You can free yourself if you reconcile with your true self and I have just done that. I am least bothered about my colleagues , my job, or my manager, let alone any worry now that I found my lost companion, who has shown me how to break the shackles of materialism. I want to stay there, in the book. But in my good books. I grabbed at least a dozen books and this time I walked out of the shop, holding my head high and confidence high.
