My cousin calls me last night and tells me the Fred, the boyfriend of her daughter, died on Sunday from a heroin overdose. My little cousin, her daughter Rachel, is on a trip out of state right now and flying home on a bereavement pass tomorrow morning. Fred was always really sweet and they were talking about getting married. Now she and our family will be attending his funeral and she will be sitting next to his mother in the front row of the chapel instead of standing with him at the front of the church. The flowers will be overwhelming and there will be friends sharing stories of love but there won’t be any happy wedding toasts with sparkling cider. These funerals of overdose victims can’t really be celebrations of life, since the addict didn’t love life more than they loved their drug of choice, right?
December 18th Normy and Not the Truth
December 31 Normy and the New Year
I’m discussing changes at work with one of my coworkers and I mention that I will probably need to start job hunting early next year with these changes in my comp plan at work that will result in me earning a lot less money. My coworker, Letty, who is only a little familiar with our family situation and our guardianship of my granddaughter says to me, “I don’t see how you can get a new job with what a mess your family life is. You need to have a boss that understands all the time you miss with a young child like our boss does.” I say to her, “Wow, Letty, that’s a little harsh that my life is a mess.” She is not apologetic when she says, “Hey I remember when my sister who is an addict, was off the radar and I had to drive a hour away to help out with her four kids, I missed all kinds of work, if I had any other boss than our boss, I would have lost my job for sure. So there is no way you can start a new job or even change locations cause you don’t know when you will need to miss work with a little one. Sucks for you but that’s how it is.”
My daughter sends me a text yesterday, “Can you send me all the insurance info. I’m at urgent care for an infection from a spider bite. Now I have shortness of breath, constant nausea, fever and super low blood pressure.” I take a picture of our insurance card with my phone and text it to her with a message to call me after she is out of the urgent care center.
This is our favorite time of year, celebrating holidays together with our immediate family and our extended family. We decorate, we bake, we invite everyone over, and we look forward to seeing everyone all dressed up. It is usually a whirlwind of activity getting ready for the holidays. However, yesterday, I heard something at a support meeting for families of addicts, that made me stop and think.