"Enlightenment" "mindfulness" "consciousness" "awareness"... These are all terms that seem to be on-trend at the moment. Whilst there is definitely a shift in general awareness, there is also a large number of people that use these buzz words as a means to fit in or be one of the cool ones but in reality, what does it actually mean to be a conscious individual?
Take a moment to think back to your childhood. What's the first memory or thought that comes to mind? Is it happy or sad? Now take another moment to think about the relationship you had with your parents. In your recollection were they emotionally available? Did they have time for you to sit and chat about the most mundane things or were they always preoccupied with the demands of survival? Now when you get a moment speak to your parents about what their life was like when you were between the ages of zero to five years old. Were you in a loving environment? Did you maybe grow up in a single-parent home? All these things have a massive impact on the way that you now interact as an adult within your friendships and relationships.
The beginning of any relationship is always the most fun. The other person is full of life, and completely intriguing; we want to spend most [all] of our time around them. We are simply intoxicated by the thought, smell, taste, thought of them. They are everything, until they are not.
The road to discovering a compatible life partner is filled with all sorts of obstacles that we need to overcome. To begin with, we need to make sure that the chosen mode of transport is best suited for the terrain. The vehicle (in this instance, you) needs to be well maintained both on the inside and on the outside. You can't drive in an environment that requires you to use your windscreen wipers if they are unable to keep the windscreen clear enough for you to see through. This is the same when it comes to our outlook of ourselves and relationships. In order to have a clear view of the road ahead, we have to be sure that we have upgraded the wind screen wiper blades. In other words, do the work internally to ensure that you can see people for who they are as opposed to merely a projection of our own insecurities, fears, and shortcomings. In most cases, we have a bad habit of overly romanticising a person/situation in order to fit in with our ideals.
There is absolutely nothing more daunting than the idea of being "back on the market" after a prolonged absence due to being betrothed to "the one" for a spell. After being married and with the same person for a long time, we tend to get very comfortable in the idea of who we are. The role of being a wife or a mother is actually a small part of who we actually are and it's easy to forget that we are more than just a title. Transitioning from these roles can be outright scary, especially when you factor in the way things have changed from when you were single at 18 to being single in your early 30s.
As the saying goes, "variety is the spice of life," whilst that may be absolutely accurate when I am cooking my famous spaghetti Bolognese that has sprinkles of USA flavours in the form of oregano spice, or a taste of southern Spain, with a generous dash of paprika powder, that is not always a good thing when it comes to sex. Is that the collective mental gasps of naysayers echoing in these internet streets? Before we agree to disagree, read on...