Reagan Jensen

Reagan Jensen

Canadian writer posting short stories and quotes all formed within my vast mind.

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  • Reagan Jensen
    Published 6 days ago
    Numb

    Numb

    My eyes were fixed upon the dimly lit night sky, watching the stars twinkle against the dark blanket in which they were encased as I quietly whispered "I don't know what feels real... anymore." The tears beginning to flood my broken blue eyes, as I continued "It's not like me to be so mean." The disappointment weighing within myself at who I had become. I could feel his deep set brown eyes watching me, observing my lips that began to quiver from the immense disbelief that began to surface at the mere thought of it all. I could feel the desperation and confusion begin to cloud my judgement as I glanced over at him quickly "I don't know what's happening" I proclaimed. He stood along side me, his intense eyes met mine at that very moment, the sympathy within his words, but the wisdom remained all the same "But you do." He paused for a brief moment, "You're growing, but you don't feel anything anymore... you've become numb" he calmly spoke. A gentle gasp escaped my lips then, as my eyes danced back and forth as if to find the lies within his answers, almost as if I was surprised by this accusation but all the while as if I didn't want it to be true. He never broke his gaze with me, as the tears began to trickle down my face. "You did what you had to do...regardless of if you see that yet or not." I couldn't seem to be able to come to terms with what he was saying, because everything felt null, there was nothing but a void that would surface every time my mind wandered back to the situation. "But he was all I wanted... what I needed" I looked up at him, the sorrow withered upon my face. He reached out and cupped my face gently, his fingers caressing my left cheek. I could see the sincerity in his gorgeous brown eyes, I knew he did in fact care deeply, despite everything that he was saying. He softly sighed then, but remained remorseful "Well, then all but one question remains... does it hurt?" I stopped for a moment, searching within the bottom of my heart and the crevasses of my mind, the numbness in my voice as I said "Nothing hurts when I'm alone." My facial expression was blank as he meekly smiled at my response, finally breaking his stare, as he looked off towards the depths of the distilled forest. "Then there is your answer, my dear... there is your answer." He started to slowly walk away then, only to take a few steps forward before he stopped, slightly turning to look back at me as he said "But then again, you always knew that from the very beginning." I glanced towards the ruffled surface of the ground, unaffected by his words, and yet I still wanted to say no, I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to mutter the words... because I knew that he was right. I could hear the sympathy and yet the sternness within his voice "Don't beat yourself up about this, because it's like I've always told you... you were never meant for this life. You saw it from the very beginning... you just chose to ignore it." He turned back around then and continued to walk off into the distance. I looked back over to where he had stood, only to see his backside, watching as he disappeared into the night, leaving me standing there... becoming lost in my own disgruntled realization of the truth.
  • Reagan Jensen
    Published 10 days ago
    Farewell

    Farewell

    He wrapped his arms around me desperately, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against mine, squeezing tighter, he whispered in my ear “I love you.” I let a sigh of contentment escape my lips, as I felt my body begin to melt, because I could hear the sincerity in his voice as I replied back admiringly “I love you too.” Our eyes locked for a moment and I could see the depth of his endearment beaming in his warm brown eyes as I felt his hand caress my right cheek before letting go. But I didn’t want him to release his hold on me, and I begged in desperation for him to stay, but I knew he couldn’t; as did he. I held onto his hand tightly as we both walked to the rivers edge, stopping, he slightly turned back towards me, slowly letting go of my hand, our finger tips brushing against one another as the sadness and determination in his heart felt eyes stared back into mine. I smiled meekly as he smiled back at me. Turning back around, I watched him as he began to walk away, starring at his backside the entire time. I felt the heart wrenching feeling, as if I had mourned the death of a loved one, wash over me. I quietly whispered “Goodbye, my love” as my chin began to tremble, the tears overflowed my anguish filled blue eyes as I tried to remain strong. He continued to walk further away, as the slight breeze brushed through my hair, while the snow fell gently on the ground; the darkness of the night illuminating the sky. He disappeared out of sight into the dense moonlit forest. I held my breath, fixated on the last spot where I watched him vanish, hoping and wishing he would turn back around. I couldn’t believe I watched him leave. Remembering his warm embrace and hearing those soul-stirring and powerful words “I love you” echo in my ears. I stood there for what seemed like hours, unable to bring myself to turn away, in hopes that he would reappear… but he never did. I could feel the tears race down my cheeks, as I continued to stare desperately into the distance. I felt Welril place his hand on my shoulder then, as he quietly spoke “He will return, in due time, my dear”. I looked over at him, the sorrow withered upon my face, the pain, almost unbearable as I pleaded “Perhaps it’s for the best.” He stared at me, I could see the sympathy on his face as he spoke quietly “You and I both know that isn’t true.” I could feel the pain fill my chest, the weight making it hard to breathe, “Then why does it hurt so much?” I proclaimed in torment. He smiled then, the empathy in his words of wisdom “Because this is real and you are in love.” Unable to fight the grief any longer, I ran towards him, and buried my face into his chest as he held onto me. I sobbed heavily as my body began to tremble in the immense heart ache. I felt his hand gently rub my back as he said “Everything will be okay, he will be back, I promise you this.” As he spoke those words I felt my heart break, longing and yearning for his return even more. At that very moment I couldn’t bring myself to withhold my grasp in the comfort of his arms, because I knew he was right… he just had to be.
  • Reagan Jensen
    Published 13 days ago
    Infectious Mind

    Infectious Mind

    You watch from a distance, eyes entranced upon me. Lingering in the back of my mind, I hear your dark emotionless voice seeping its way through every damaged scar in order to corrupt and suffocate each positive thought. Your cold touch of death sending shivers across the surface of my skin, slowly freezing the flame in my heart. The iniquity filled smirk, there is nothing but deceit in your lifeless eyes. You never leave, you’re always there, astray, watching, observing. Waiting for the right time to strike. Destined to take hold of my will, your infectious poisonous breath against my neck. You’re ready to kill. And to think… it’s all in my head.
  • Reagan Jensen
    Published 13 days ago
    Misery of Ones Own Heart

    Misery of Ones Own Heart

    You have so much pent up pain. Locked away among the heart ache and lies. There no longer is any life in your eyes. The flame that once burnt so bright is nothing but a mere glimmer, a faint shadow that is on the verge of disappearing. You’ve held on for so long, but for what? Happiness has alluded you. Nothing but agony has come your way. Things haven’t turned around like their deceptive and promise filled lies said it would. Nothing. Has. Gotten. Better. For. You. My dear, you are fighting a losing battle. Hell has betrothed you. Engulfed in its misery and chaos. Withered with sorrow, nothing enlightens you anymore. All you’ve ever known is pure torment, betrayal, loss and anguish. Always left aside like a useless piece of trash. So I don’t blame you for growing tired, and for losing interest in life. For everything you’ve ever had that once brought any speck of light into your life was always taken away. No one understands. No one ever will. Your hope and optimism has faded. You have no where to go. Nothing is as it seems. Entrapped and suffocating from your own defeating mind. The walls are all collapsing around you. You’re becoming closed off and numb. You are on the brink of perishing… and yet no one notices. Because no one truly cares. So what’s the point in all of this, you may ask? Well let me tell you… there is NO point. Especially for someone who is ready to leave this said life behind and say goodbye… for the very last time.
  • Reagan Jensen
    Published 13 days ago
    Unequivocal

    Unequivocal

    I saw the fear take over in his frantic eyes as I violently grabbed the back of his hair, pulling his head backwards abruptly; exposing his jugular. Almost as if I had become entranced, I could see his veins pulsating, my eyes widened with lust as a deceptive and lingering smile crept upon my face. He attempted to raise his hands up, trying his best to push away from me in order to escape my grasp, but he couldn’t. Something in me had shifted… I changed, almost snarling, I repeatedly and brutally stabbed him in his neck with the blade that I held in my other hand, the blood spewing from his wounds, splattering against the walls. I could hear him let out a scream in tremendous agony, as he began to choke on his own blood. The gurgling noises that escaped from his disgusting mouth only increasing and exciting me more, bringing the knife up one last time and striking him; beheading him in the process. The blood splattering my iniquity filled face as I watched his body fall to the floor, hearing his head hit the hardwood. A craze had overcome me, grinning immensely at his lifeless body I heard an intense gasp a few feet away. Looking up intently, I saw Dyrel standing there, white as a ghost at what he had just witnessed. Glancing down at the knife that was dripping blood, he took a step back, as he stumbled from the immense horror and disbelief. Stepping forward, over Rynd’s dead body, starring him down, making my way over to him slowly. Dyrel let out a shriek of terror, for he knew he was next. He ran down the stairs, desperately looking for a place to escape. The fear had taken over as he fell to the floor, quickly trying to get back up he made his way to the front door, pulling on the door handle, only to find out it had been locked. Hysterically struggling to unlock the door in his desperation, he began to see double at the suffocating dismay that had taken over him. But he immediately froze in his tracks when he heard a heavy laugh from directly behind him. Shaking, he slowly turned around, only to be face to face with me. He was withered with fear as our eyes met, he stared into my soulless blue eyes as he tried to mutter the words “Please…. no!”. I only smiled then, as I grabbed him by his throat, pinning him against the front door. Frantically grabbing my hand with both of his, wanting so eagerly for me to let him go. I saw the despair in his green eyes as I shoved the knife into his stomach, pulling upwards towards his diaphragm as his intestines began to fall from his stomach. All the while, the stench of his blood came pouring out, making me grimace in delight. I continued to stare into his eyes in the process, making sure I was the last thing he ever saw, as I slowly watched the life fade from his eyes. Pulling the knife out then and letting go from his neck, he fell to the ground, gazing at his body that laid in a pool of blood. Cocking my head to the side slightly, almost as if I was analyzing him in satisfaction. I let a sigh of contentment escape my lips, while wiping off my blade, and tucking it back into its hinge all the while I continued to smile. Chuckling to myself then, I quietly whispered “And to think, they never saw it coming.”
  • Reagan Jensen
    Published 14 days ago
    Attachment

    Attachment

    I stared off into the distance, watching the trees slightly sway back and forth from the gentle breeze that pushed its way passed through the hill side. My eyes seemed to dance back and forth, almost as if they were searching for answers. He watched me, studying my face trying to read the confused, yet heart ache expression that was written all over it. “You’re riddled with attachment, my dear.” He said quietly. I slightly turned to face him, our eyes interlocking. I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes as I said desperately, disappointed in myself “I am… but I don’t want to be.” I let a small sigh escape my lips as it was getting harder to hold back the tears. The concern washed over his face, the slight dismay in his voice while he questioned me “You’re in love, aren’t you?” I couldn’t look at him then, as a tear rolled down my cheek, I glanced toward my feet, gazing longingly at the ruffled surface of the earth. I didn’t even have to answer him, because he already knew. I could hear the sincerity in his voice as he spoke “Why do you continue to fight it?” I kept my gaze locked onto the ground as I said weakly “Because I’ve never felt this way before, but yet I know in my heart and mind that him and I are one in the same.” He never took his eyes off of me and I could hear the seriousness and danger in his voice “If he truly is anything like you… then you are doomed… but you already know that.” I felt my chin begin to tremble, his words cutting through my heart like a knife. The tears began to fall from my eyes, as I silently attempted to wipe them away as I brought myself to look at him once again. I could see he felt my pain, but he remained almost disconnected as I said “I know. But that is the risk that comes with this.” That’s when he looked away, glancing off into the distance as the sun was beginning to set. “It’s like I’ve always told you, this life just isn’t meant for you. But you will do what you feel is right” as he continued knowingly “so let us hope that this time I’m wrong.” I could feel the pain and anguish flood inside my chest, unable to hide it as I frantically wiped away the tears that were now streaming down my face. He looked back at me then, I could see the heart ache in his eyes, but that quickly changed as he calmly spoke “You know what needs to be done. Either you fully embrace it, allowing yourself to become weak in this infatuation, or you dis-concern yourself and walk away. The choice is yours.” He could see the desperation withered in my eyes as I cried out “But this is different, I just know it!” I gasped “I feel it!” Holding my hand up against my chest where my heart laid. He meekly smiled at me then, I could hear the insight and truth in his words “I know it is. Trust me. That is why I’m trying to save you from this chaos that you bring upon yourself. But only you can allow that to happen.” My eyes widened in disbelief, taken aback by the words that he had spoken. And at that very moment, I couldn’t contain the realization and anguish as I clenched my hands into fists I let out a heart felt scream as I fell onto my knees. Wrapping my arms around myself in order to comfort my own well being, I then fell over onto my side. He watched me sob, hearing the depth of my heart ache and suffering in my cries.”Let it consume you, my dear, embrace it, for that is the only way you will be able to move forward in this.” I could feel every single emotion that had been locked away wash over me, almost unbearable, I glanced up towards the now dimly lit sky, entranced, I could feel my body tremble as his words echoed in my ears. It seemed like the torment would never end, but just as it had started, I let every single sensation flood my mind, body and soul. I unclenched my fists, as I gasped for air, attempting to slow my breathing. I could feel my body begin to go weightless as the reality of the agony in my heart began to fade. The single last tear slowly trickled down my right cheek, and a sigh of relief escaped my lips all the while a smile slowly appeared on my face. I knew then what had to be done.