An Aspiring Pilot
I was taught a valuable lesson from one of my children, it helped me long term to be a better parent. Sharing such experiences is impertinent to my growth, in the likes of being better at future generational differences. I was taught that in a child’s development to teenage excursions, is owning their individual expectations of self while getting to the goals they aspire. At the age of 13, my son had begun his own business ethics. He was given a lawnmower, and expanded to mowing lawns, cultivating gardens, and pouring cement for patios, decks and building areas of support under apprenticeship. It gave me the insight, to start looking for college courses in Landscaping to support his tactics. I’ve always been supportive to my children and their goals but it was of my interests for them rather than to what they desired. While my son was excavating his Landscaping skills, I was active in researching the things I wanted him to explore. I tried to send him to a technical school specializing in Auto Mechanics, I tried to send him to a Military school, even thought that a Magnet school program will keep him focused since his academics were as he always proven to be intelligent as long as he put in the work. I tried to keep him focused , since independence in his business didn’t allow much room for me to be his parent. He didn’t need much from me at all, the only control I had was to keep a curfew and to be sure he was excelling in school. I stayed close with his guidance counselor, teachers, and authorities at school to be sure he was putting in the effort. Financially, he did everything for himself clothes, shoes and anything he felt he needed. I didn’t have much to go on as far as his associates, because he kept a small circle. Anyone outside of his Football team associates, I knew only the 3 friends he brought home in 7 years. He brought no trouble to home, yet he found trouble out in the streetz as I nickname outside of the home. My grandfather always said to me if I wasn’t home, I was in the streetz. Whether a friend’s home, a park or a relatives’, it was still considered the streetz. Where you can find obstacles to harm yourself or be outside of your normal experiences is the streetz. My lesson was that I could only support my son’s interest, and not guide him to my expectations for him. He had made it clear in his actions, he was only doing what he wanted for himself and my opinion was only a distraction. I tried hard as an active parent to be involved with his life, but I was shut out tremendously due to his privacy of keeping from me what he didn’t want me to know. Suddenly, he had left his interest in his business and insisted on a job. I had given him a resume, interviewing skills, and even made calls to look for hiring manager’s information before passing the leads to him for follow-up. We celebrated his hiring, and felt a connection during the process. I felt he finally needed me, and he was inspired by my help that he actually wanted. Moving forward from that experience, to my younger son I decided to ask him what did he want to be when he grew up. He said a Fighter Jet Pilot. I eventually moved to the State where education was taken seriously throughout the school system. I had been focused on signing him up with a Mentorship, programs that led to his goal and adding a structure that he can build on thru his efforts. I looked for a Pilot Mentor thru Instagram. Found one that had connected us to a Retired Pilot that donated flights to my son. I then found Civil Air Patrol that will assist him in getting a Pilot License by the age of 17. Also, they provide a structure of the Air Force to obtain leadership, safety, aerospace, skills and responsibilities. In addition, I had 6-hour reading scheduled for him during his school week. His reading included S.A.T, ASVB, and Aerospace. Following his aspired goals, extending his experiences, and staying focused on what he expects of this journey is what I concentrated on. Currently, as he started at 11 years of age he had 5 single-handed flights; now at the age of 14 about to attend a H.S. on a University campus that allows 60 credits towards his graduation of college. As long as he’s surrounded by peers of his inspiration, I expect great things and at his happiness not just mine. I’m a proud parent, and I learned the lesson that helped me to be on his team. To all of the parents that thinks parenting is overbearing, controlling, and demanding its not the secret to success.