A psyche student, content creator, and 20 something who writes about dating, relationships, and sexology.
Chemistry Vs. Compatibility: the relationship choices that plague us
The other day I watched a short video clip that Jay Shetty shared on Instagram. In the clip it showed how chemistry is this huge determining factor that prompts us to put in the effort and vulnerability to date someone. However what winds up happening is that later down the line there are all of these fights and arguments about our needs, values, and morals that come into play and they then overshadow the chemistry we felt was so important in the beginning. That is when break-ups occur. The harsh truth is there can be all of the fiery passionate chemistry in the world but it doesn’t matter if the things that matter most to you are not prioritized in the relationship. Chemistry only holds the relationship for so long.
The real reason why today's relationships don't last.
The vast majority of men and women today in their 20's and early 30's all seem to have the same one complaint in common. Regardless of the gender differences that we all seem to believe to make dating and relationship's so "complicated", we can agree that modern dating is less than pleasant or easy. Modern technology and the impersonal communication that is social media seems to be the foundation of this inherent state that stems from the same resources that make us progressive, more efficient, and more successful than the cohort's before us.
What is Intimacy and Sexology?
Throughout my life I heard the word "intimacy" and I always thought about physical touch or kissing. Maybe it was due to all of the romance movies I watched or the Stevie Wonder songs that talked about love like an all encompassing, touchy-feely, I would move mountains and stars for you, kind of way. Truth be told like most women I've probably seen one too many romantic comedies that feed us all unrealistic fluffy expectations of love. However, sex is no different. The majority (whether wanting to admit it or not) have watched enough porn to know how unrealistic the porn narratives we were first exposed to are. They are far different than the real act of sex in way more ways than one. Most of us aren't knocking boots with a hot plumber coming to unclog your sink with his "big plunger".
After a year of hell, I decided to makeover 2021 into my personal slice of heaven.
After a turbulent year spent inside, I realized our vices and our means of personal development mean nothing when they are all material and tangible things. Days before the New Year I realized a "New Year, new me" approach wasn't going to cut it this year. It wouldn't bandage the wounds 2020 brought us all, and it certainly wouldn't mask the inevitable realization that being inside and forced to slow down revealed sides of us we didn't know that need healing. So I decided maybe New Years resolution's and the glamour of a whole new year was just smoke and mirrors. A New Year always means, a clean slate, new memories, new levels, a new day...but in between the lines we all have this false ideology of a New Year meaning we wake up and the struggles we face are over. We are now new people with new habits and we'll never be so low again.