Noah Husband
Bio
I like to take premises that sound absurd or ridiculous (ie. a cowboy who learns to love life again through surfing), and write them well enough that the reader goes, "Okay, that was actually really good".
Achievements (1)
Stories (6/0)
Various Events
In Walter Bower’s “The Scotichronicon”, a text from the 1440s describing Scottish history, some of the chapters are titled densely, and others vaguely. For example, chapter nineteen is titled, “The Agreement Entered Into Between the Kings of Scotland and Norway Concerning the Islands, and the Outbreak of Fighting Between the King of England and Simon de Montfort”, while chapter thirty is titled “Various Events”. Perhaps the reason for this vagueness is simply that chapter thirty contains too many events to be properly encapsulated with a specific title. Perhaps it is to denote that the events within it are unimportant. Perhaps though, it is to avoid attention, for it contains within it a conspiracy.
By Noah Husband3 months ago in Criminal
- Runner-Up in If Walls Could Talk
A Wall in a HouseRunner-Up in If Walls Could Talk
If walls could talk, this one would ask you for a goddamn cigarette right about now. I’m joking, of course. Even if you could supply me with one, I’ve got no arms to light it with, no mouth to suck in the smoke with, and no lungs to be blackened by it, because in case I wasn’t clear- I’m a goddamn wall!
By Noah Husbandabout a year ago in Fiction
A Dog, a Man, and a Muffin
“Officer, I swear I’ve never met this guy in my life.” This is what my dog probably would have said had she known English, and had she not been attached to my hand by a leash. We were seated outside a Vons in Corona, California at 4:30 a.m. I was in full hiking gear, and as a policeman oscillated the beam of his flashlight from my face, to my backpack, to my dog’s face, I could tell he was confused.
By Noah Husband2 years ago in Petlife
Royal Dinner
Fulbert returned to consciousness in a puddle of ale. He had produced this puddle earlier by passing out mid-urination, catapulting his tankard and it’s contents all over the stone floor of the loo. He groaned a raspy groan as he recalled the circumstances which brought him here. He had been invited by the king himself to attend a dinner party in the royal castle- an unexpected, undeserved invitation. A victim of the king’s high taxation, Fulbert had been forced into peasantry, and now spent most of his days under the sorcery of ale, cursing the king loudly in the streets, wreaking of piss and rubbish and-- to be redundant-- ale. His foul stench had garnered him the nickname, ‘Fulbert the Foul’. In short, he was a notorious drunkard.
By Noah Husband2 years ago in Fiction