Mytoxic Family
Stories (9/0)
I Thought I Was Over My Mother's Murder
Hello, readers, assuming there are any readers actually out there. I started writing about my life – anonymously – a few months ago. I did it partly on the suggestion of my shrink, who knows I enjoy writing fiction (in fact I have an account on here that is not anonymous, in which I write short stories.) I've found it incredibly cathartic and in fact was even thinking “hey, I'm not even sure if I need to go back to him anymore. That's how good I feel!”
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Psyche
The Right Wing In This Country Is My Family Write Large
I really, really did not want to write about politics on here. This is supposed to be a place for me to write about my family of origin, all the fucked up shit they did to me (and each other) in some sort of effort to understand myself.
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Confessions
AITA? No
Are people aware of this subreddit called AITA? It stands for “Am I The A-Hole?” I discovered this a few months ago and I am hooked on it. Basically what this is is a place for people to go online to tell some horrible story that happned to them, how they responded, and then ask if they were in the wrong for doing so. Then the community gives their answer and possibly some advice (which, to be honest, seems to be coming from a bunch of teens and young adults and, while well-intentioned seems to lack much in the way of wisdom, which becomes really obvious in those situations that aren't so cut and dry).
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Psyche
My History of Anxiety, Pt 4
So now we come to the part of the story that will be the toughest for me to write because it's the part that's the most embarrassing: the sex stuff. Yes, once I finally had sex – and remember, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 29 and it was only because the woman I had sex with was rather aggressive in her pursuit of me; otherwise, I'm not sure if I'd have ever had it – boy, did I have sex.
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Psyche
My History of Anxiety, Pt 3
In the first 2 parts of this series, I discussed first the OCD-like behaviors that showed themselves in my childhood, and then the various addictive behaviors I exhibited around different drugs. Now, in part 3, I'd like to continue with my addictive behaviors, except this time they don't involve drugs. In fact, they involve two things that are normally considered good for us. The first of these is exercise.
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Filthy
My History of Anxiety, Pt 2
I recently wrote about my history with anxiety, extending all the way back to my childhood and the odd way it manifested itself back then. I'm no expert on actual diagnoses or the labelling of things, but I certainly feel some of my behaviors smacked of OCD and really could have taken over my life. I am not exactly sure how I escaped that fate, since the temptation to focus on them is still there. But I do know of people who suffer from full-blown obsessive thinking and behaviors who literally can't leave the house.
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Psyche
My History of Anxiety
I came across an article lately (not on vocal, btw, so I'm not entirely sure if I can share the link) that talked about the difference between worry and anxiety. Oddly, I had never heard of this distinction. I thought I had read alot about anxiety, and I have definitely seen a good number of therapists in my day. One would think I'd have heard of this distinction before.
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Psyche
How My Unloving Family Tried To Destroy Me
This is a true story. It's October of 2014, so seven years ago now, practically to the day, and I have lost everything: my business, my apartment, my family, and now, probably, my wife. She's moving back to her parents' house, a few hundred miles and two states away. She's going to stay in their basement until she can land on her feet. Me? I'm going to live on the subway. I guess I'll beg, I don't know. I sure as hell can't sing or play an instrument or spin around on the subway poles. I'm sure there are charities that can help me. But despite working in the human services field for over a decade, I am painfully unaware of what kind of programs are out there to help a person in my position. I don't even know how long I will live, but I don't really care much at this point. Maybe I'll slowly but surely go insane, assuming I'm not there already. My wife – I'll be calling her Fiona on here, because she tells me she always wanted to be named Fiona – keeps reassuring me that it's only temporary, that we'll be back together again, we'll bounce back, and we'll be together again, we'll bounce back, over and over again. Me? All I can think of is the end of Requiem For A Dream, when Jared Leto calls Jennifer Connolly from some hellhole of a prison down south and they assure each other how they'll see each other again and repeat their love for each other over and over. As the viewer, we know there's no chance in hell they'll get back together, and this is almost definitely the last time they'll ever talk. I always wondered if the characters knew that or if they were still delusional about how far they'd fallen.
By Mytoxic Family2 years ago in Psyche