Anger is our most energetic emotion. You can fuel yourself with anger to accomplish most of anything in the world. It comes at a price though. The hormones that increase with your anger will wreak total havoc on your body, system by system. I have found most of us get angry when we are disrespected, disobeyed, or betrayed. For each of us, it is a different scenario, but the results are the exact same. Our bodies were not meant to be fueled by anger, and this is the destruction that comes along with holding on to the hurt.
Facing the Fear
To quote Will Smith: Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice. The first time I read that quote, I scoffed. Fear is real. Fear was running my life. I was afraid of financial security, the relationships I had, my family, and myself most of all. Being afraid is an experience all of humanity has. Finding the root of your fear will allow you to push past that boundary and conquer your life.
Immigrating to the US
Do you know how long it takes to get anything done within the government? Have you ever had to wait in the social security office or at the courthouse? The amount of filing and paperwork required for these types of changes is massive, and I believe that most of them do the best they can. I researched how to apply for a visa to the United States of America, and was shocked at how much waiting and red tape there is, even by government standards. This post outlines the necessary communication, documentation, and wait expectations for applying for a visa.
Bitch VS Boss
Women are bitches and not bosses. That is the patriarch. It is oppression of women on a societal scale. Roles conditioned by demographics like: finances, education, culture, family. As a mother, I want more for my girls. I want them to know that you, a woman, can absolutely run your world.
Money is the root of all evil. Many of us have been told this all of our lives. When money or financial stability is the drive for what you do, you will always find yourself in desperate places. I truly believe that everyone should be afforded the opportunity to change their lives. Unfortunately, those that find themselves within the justice system have an uphill climb to do it. Once you have a record, you are that for the rest of your life. Getting in trouble again is inevitable, and will happen again; it's simply a matter of time. The justice system has become an open market for entrepreneurs and private companies to make money from others' mistakes.
The Guilt Trip
Guilt is an emotion that all of us have felt. It's an emotion that has been used to drive us to correct our behaviors. If you do not make amends for your mistake, then it will always eat at you. It is easy to dismiss small things; brush them off, because everyone does it from time to time. Or maybe you decided that shoving it down, and never talking about it again was best (Spoiler: it really isn’t). Pushing your guilt down will only work for so long, and eventually, you will have deal with it.
There will be many turning points in your life; it happens to all of us. We are faced with a decision that will change the rest of our lives. For me, it was getting divorced. It wasn’t my decision in the beginning, but going through it has allowed me to see that I was living a life in which I was ashamed. I had been driven by expectations that I had set for myself, and some others had set for me. I felt captive in my own life and I was not going to be that anymore. I took the opportunity that presented itself to design the life that I wanted to lead. I can tell you that it looks very different from the life that I had, and it has been very liberating. I have un-f*cked my life, and I want to encourage others to do the same.
Breakdown or Breakthrough
Hey there. How you doing? If this is your first time, welcome. If you happen to be here for another trip, welcome. I want to say how brave I think you are. It's an amazing journey and it's going to require your utmost dedication. You have to be able to keep going when it seems like nothing has ever hurt this much or that you might be dying. Your old self will die off. You will inevitably try and keep it on life support for as long as possible because that's human. I hope that you have a funny internal voice for this. You are going through some heavy stuff, but you can survive it. And I'm going to give you a road map that I designed when I was going through my crisis.