MEHDI BENNANI
Bio
-22 year old student living in Montreal,Canada
- Canadian in paper, Moroccan in the blood
- just trying to live my life to the fullest!
- what can I say, My life is an open book so why not just disclose everything!
Stories (3/0)
the reason I lost 45 pounds when I was only weighing 165.
During my whole childhood, I use to admire my father. He was kind of the Don Jon of the family, not in the way that he uses to get laid with every woman but mostly in the way that everyone looked up to him. I knew that I wanted to be like that one day, but I was always chubby. My dad wanted me to be like him when I grew up and, so he used to tell me a lot that I was too fat for my age. Every time I'd eat something, he would get mad at me because he believed that if I'd get heavier, I wouldn't be able to get girls and that I would look bad in front of him when his friends were around. Spoiler alert: I was 11 when he started telling me that I needed to control myself with the food. I enjoyed playing soccer and I was good at it but it never helped me to lose weight. I had this idea in my head that I could never do something with my life as long as I have a big stomach. When he died, I was 5foot11 and weighted around 185 and, I promised myself to lose a maximum of my weight. I wanted to feel like I had no fat on my body. My father died on April 15, 2015, and when I moved to Montreal in September 2015 and weighed 165 my friends and family would keep telling me that I looked good and that my weight was perfect. I wanted more because I was so terrorized by the words of my father when he was alive and wanted to make sure that I would never have to think about working out anymore. I started a horrible diet in January 2016 when I moved into my new apartment. My diet consisted of two meals a day with absolutely no carbs. I'd go to the gym every day for about two hours and I would never miss one day. I would not have any cheat meals until I was sure that there was no fat left on my body. I kept this routine for about six months. I lost almost 40 pounds and I was skinnier than ever. I was so proud of myself, there was no fat on my body and everyone could see every damn bone there is. In June, I went back to Morocco for a vacation and I was so happy to show the results to my family. Most of them thought I got into drugs because it was not possible to be that skinny voluntarily. I assured them that I was not and that I was proud of my body. I cared about their opinion but I knew in my head that if my father was here he would be proud of how I look. I looked like him when he was in stage 4 cancer but in my eyes, it was normal even though everybody kept telling me that something was wrong with me. My family kept telling me to eat more but I did not want to. I was happy with the way I looked and, I knew that no one could take that away from me. In September 2017, I got into a new CEGEP and met new people in which one of them became one of my best friends. His name was Eric, and the first thing he asked me was ¨hey man, are you on drugs or something¨. At that exact moment, I knew that something was wrong with me and that people identified me as a junkie because of my body. Eric became my new workout partner and provided me with a new diet. I won"t lie, it felt good to eat a lot again and have no problem thinking whether I was going to take weight because clearly, I needed some. I started gaining more and more and, the good part was that it was mainly muscles and not fat so I kept going and going. Today I am still 5 feet 11 and weigh 180 pounds. I am happy with myself because I am healthy. I am eating well and have a good lifestyle. The moral of my story is not to care about the critics of others unless it got to a point where your weight is unhealthy for you. My dad put a lot of pressure on me to look like him but I realize today that I am not him, I am me and I am proud of who I am. As long as you are comfortable in your own body, don't let anybody tell you the way you should look because that is unhealthy.
By MEHDI BENNANI3 years ago in Longevity
Moving 8000km away from home at the age of 16.
5 months after my father died I got my high school diploma and decided to take my wings and fly away. I wasn't really worried about what was going to happen or how would I make new friends. I loved Morocco but I knew that I needed a fresh beginning even though I was so young. The only things that I was worried about were my mother and my sister. When I think about it today, I think I was selfish leaving them after such a big tragedy that changed our life. Nothing in their life changed, every day was just the beginning of a new day only now it would be without me. I'd talk to them a lot but not as much as I should of. We have a very tight relationship and we love each other so much. We've been through so much and god knows how much stronger we are today. My mom at the time kept telling me not to worry and that she and my sister will be fine. I took her word and I was so excited to move back to Montreal. I did a huge party at my place the night before I left, there were all my friends, it was so fun. Even though we were underage we wanted to go clubbing that night but my mom wanted me to stay home and party there because she wanted me to be here for my last night. We partied until 4 am and everyone slept at my place. The next morning we woke up to a beautiful breakfast that my family has prepared for me and my friends and it was so good! I knew that I was leaving all of this behind but in my heart, I knew it was a good decision. Once my mom dropped me at the airport, we started crying like babies. I never left my mom and my sister for so long and at that moment I just wanted to go back home and chill with my friends. I arrived in Montreal and my uncle, my aunt, and my cousin were here to pick me up. I stayed at their place for a few months and it was great, they took good care of me. 1 month later I had one wish and it was just to go back to Morocco, I missed my friends and family so I booked a flight and left. I did not care about school or whatever, I just wanted to go back home. When I landed in Morocco I kissed the ground, I missed it so much and the best moment was seeing my mom, my sister, my uncle and my grandma waiting for me at the gate. I was like a baby and started jumping like a crazy person. My first month in Montreal was pretty hard, I had no friends, and school just sucked. Once I arrived home, I went to put my luggage in my room and all of my friends were hiding there waiting for me to open the door. I was so happy to see them, it was so exciting to know that even after 1 month it was like I never left. That night it was the birthday of a good friend of mine, she was going to be 18 and so we all went to the club. It was such a great night because I was in love with my best friend at the time and she finally told me that night that she loved me too! Everyone was so shocked when we kiss but it was the best feeling I've ever had. We've managed to stay 6 months together but we had to break up cause long- distance was too hard but that's a story for another time. I stayed for 2 weeks in Morocco and went back to Montreal. My girlfriend was a huge support for me at the time, don't get me wrong she was a real pain in the ass but I loved her so much. In January 2016 I got my place, I was so excited to move in alone and have all the freedom I could have. The first night I went to buy a nice steak and a good bottle of red wine and literally sent Snapchat's to everyone! It was not a great school year neither, I only had 4 classes during the whole year and failed 3 of them. I was not motivated, I felt lonely and I missed my dad so much. I used to cry almost every night. In February my best friend from Morocco came to live in Montreal and it was great because he came exactly when my girlfriend broke up with me. The things my and this guy lived together are insane but once again that is a story for another time. In April 2016, I met this Russian girl and she was so beautiful. At that exact moment, I kept screaming in my head ¨I lOOOVE MONTREAAAL¨. I had a fake id and so we went clubbing that night with my best friend, his girl, and this Russian girl. I would have never thought that a beautiful girl like that would be into me mostly because she was like 3 years older than me but I knew I had to try. Well, we kissed that night and the rest, well the rest is history.
By MEHDI BENNANI3 years ago in Humans
the 14 days before my father died of cancer.
Almost 6 years ago I lost my dad because of this weird sickness we call cancer. He fought this beast for almost 6 years and was pretty much winning at one point but it finally got to him... Let me first talk a bit about my dad, he grew up really poor but find a way to get out of Morocco and land in Montreal in Canada. He started working in a clothing store where he discovered his passion for clothes. 8 years later he opened his first store called Cuir Elegance. He was an ambitious man with a lot of elegance. Right before he was diagnosed with pancreas cancer he had almost 9 stores all around Montreal. I was 11 years old and I was so proud of him, everyone loved him and admired him. Every year, we use to go to Mexico and in 2009 when we were in Cancun, my dad promised me that we would play tennis together at the end of the day so at around 5 pm I waited for him in the lobby. I waited for an hour and my mom then joined me to tell me that he was not feeling good at all. His eyes were yellow and his stomach was hurting bad. We thought it was because of the food but when we came back to Montreal, my dad went to the hospital to see if everything was alright. The doctor told him that at the age of 42 he had cancer and had to start chemo right away. After his first operation, the doctors told him that it was not a success and that his time was counted. My dad was hopeless and did not know what to do. As I said before, he was someone that everyone loved so no one wanted to give up on him. His best friend told him that he knew one of the best doctors in France and that he accepted to operate on him. My dad decided to give it one last chance and it paid off! He was officially cancer-free. We were so happy knowing that he was going to live a long and beautiful life. In 2011, he sold all of his stores and we went to live in Morocco to be closer to our family. My parents opened an event company that worked pretty good but in 2012 cancer came back. At that moment everything changed, my dad turned into a completely new person. He was not nice to us anymore, he became cheap and did not want to share his money anymore. He screamed a lot at my mom and my sister. We couldn't recognize him anymore. One night, he wanted to invite some of his friends at home and asked my mom to cook dinner, it was during Ramadan. My mom was extremely tired because she worked all day and asked him if it was possible to leave it until the next day. He started to scream really loud and pretty much went crazy. He went on and slapped my mom, I couldn't take it anymore and so I got into a fight with him. I acted tough but I was so scared, I knew that hitting my dad was not the good thing to do but I had to calm him or else I don't know what he would have done. When it was done, I was crying on the shoulders of my mom and he came back to hit me more and told me that I was not ready for what was going to happen and took his stuff and left. An hour later, I was really scared and could not imagine what was going to happen, so I texted him and told him how sorry I was. Of course, I was not sorry at all but I knew I had to do it in order to calm things down. Don't get me wrong, I loved my dad and I'll always love him and I know that all of these weird reactions were coming from his meds. He used to take so much of them it was actually scary. in 2013, he went to Washington with my mom for an operation which was successful but there were lots of complications. Throughout the next two years, these complications got even more complicated which led to the worst part. 2 weeks before he died, he vomited a lot of blood and a huge ball which I guess was an organ or something. At that moment it was like he was dead, he could not talk, he could not eat, he could not drink. The only positive thing was that he was painless. For 6 years, every night he would scream because of pain but at that moment all of it was gone. We had to feed him through the nose but one incredible thing happened. 7 days before he died he got a surge, meaning that he was totally fine again like if he was a new man. He could eat, talk do whatever he wants. We spent the night talking and most of the time he was just saying that he thought he was going to die. The next morning, I went to wake him up and his eyes were open but he could not respond. He was actually sleeping with his eyes open and let me tell you that it was so scary. He slept all day long and at night he vomited again the same thing as last time. Once again, he could not talk, drink, or walk. We had to put him in diapers and feed him once again through the nose. I always saw my dad as this powerful man who always knew what he was doing but at that moment when I was looking at him I figured out that we are absolutely nothing in this world and that all of us will one day pass away. 3 days before he died, my dad was so skinny and so I and my mom carried him to the bathroom, made him sit in a chair in front of a mirror, and put him on one of his favorite music called la bohème. We started putting him on some perfume and fix his hair, he was such a handsome man so we just had to do it. He couldn't talk but he was smiling and it was such a blessing seeing him smile like that. He was like newborn rediscovering music and family. When we put him back to bed, I stayed next to him and I just kept telling him how much I loved him. He could not keep his eyes away from me and he was trying so hard to speak. I told him not to force himself and just had to relax, he finally did it and whispered to me how sorry he was. I did not want to cry in front of him, I wanted to show him that I was strong and that I would be fine after he leaves. I just did not want him to worry, I wanted him to leave in peace. The night before he died, an Imam came home and told me that we were going to recite a verse from the Quran which was going to cure him completely or make him leave this world. I did not really believe in what he said but I just went with it and said okay. The next morning, my grandma wakes me up at around 8 AM and ask me to free my room because my father was going to die in a few hours and it's where they will clean him. At that moment I was so furious, I told my grandma that she was not god and she could not just predict whenever my father was going to pass away. People kept coming to my house with a big smile and leave with so many tears, it was so sad. That day there were a lot of people at my house. Me, my mom and my sister were sitting next to my father. At around 9:50 I was counting the breathing per minute my dad was having and every time it was less and less breathing. At a moment, I look at my mother and tell her he will breathe one last time and he will leave. So we went next to him and hold his hand. he took a really big breath, closed his eyes, and left this world. We went on and cried, we cried a lot but at the same time, I knew that he was in peace and that he would look out for me from where he is. I locked myself in my bathroom and asked for a sign, just to know that he was alright and that he was with us. Right away, the hand shower fell off, and trust me when I say it never happened before. I was so glad, I knew it was not a coincidence and knew that it was him. The funerals lasted 3 days and it was beautiful, there were more than 500 people and I got to tell him goodbye one last time.
By MEHDI BENNANI3 years ago in Families
