Daily Life with Anxiety.
It's all in your head." Just get over it". "Stop worrying so much." These here are some of the things people say to you when you have anxiety. Anxiety affects over millions of people world wide and it can become a reason people become disabled. As if having a racing heart, sweaty palms, and having trouble breathing is bad enough, somebody picks up the courage to tell you, "stop worrying about it, it will be okay." It makes me want to slap them. This illness has prevented me to hold a steady job and keep in touch with friends and family. It has prevented me to sleep at night- due to racing thoughts and bad decisions that happened years ago. It makes the mind show you these awful scenarios that could happen- especially going to a big city and you're on the highway. There's many ways to treat anxiety. Some get lucky and have it only for a short time, others could have it for a lifetime, like me. The way I chose to help with my anxiety is marijuana and anti-depressants. I know what you're thinking- "Anxiety is a side effect of marijuana". Actually, yes and no. Yes, it could be with some people who smoke it, and no because people who smoke it, like me, it relaxes me and allows me to be an actual functioning human being that will get shit done. This is my daily life. In the morning I enjoy those sweet five seconds upon waking up until anxiety comes breaking down the door, demanding to be heard. Asking me what could go wrong today and listing all the things I need to do before I die. Midway though the day, as I am relaxing, it goes wait I hear a noise, is someone breaking in? Is it the animals? What are we going to do? As usually I reassure myself that it was my dogs just moving around. All day long anxiety will be tapping at my shoulder making sure I knew it was there and anything or everything can come crashing down any moment and I could possibly die. Then lastly at night, as I am laying there, it finally asks did you lock the doors? Did you feed the animals? Did you shut off all the lights? Did you double check the locked doors? So, I will have to get out of bed and double-checked, triple-check everything. Anixety is very hard to deal with because it's fighting with your mind all day and everyday of your life. It's this dark cloud that hangs over your head and you can't get rid of it. It's having people looking at you like you're crazy because you refused to go on that one thing or into that one store because of this fear you having running though your head. It's having the doctors to tell you to control your anxiety and learn to cope with it. They don't understand how horrible it is to have your mind to tell you you're going to die if you step out of your comfortable zone. It's having to hear all the sounds all at once in a crowded area, feeling you cannot breathe or even think, and all that's running through your mind is YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!!. This dear people is the daily life with anxiety aka hell.