When I mention that I had a natural uncomplicated home birth with my daughter people tell me I am "really lucky" to have had that experience. The more I've heard this the more irritating I've found it! I wasn't "lucky" I planned my birth and I researched everything I possibly could to ensure I was prepared. I knew what my body was doing and why it was doing it. I had a birth plan that was over three pages long, most of it was about the fact I wanted to be left alone as much as possible to do my thing and concentrate on the job at hand because I had complete faith in my body and my baby to do what needed to be done without intervention.
Did I intend to become a step-mum? Not one bit, in fact, if anything I had a rule that I wouldn't date a man with children because when you enter a new relationship you can imagine that the other person will have baggage, but a child is another thing altogether. Somehow, I fell for my partner before I really had the chance to think about the fact that his very cute 16-month-old daughter came with an incredibly difficult past relationship and an unreasonable birth mother who uses the child as a pawn and would continue to do so for several years. Hence my question, who is the "wicked" mother here? Me the step parent or her the actual birth mother?