Lilly Ashley
Bio
Stories (5/0)
Ghostly
I’ve never quite found myself. I feel as though I spend my time like lint from the bottoms of my empty pockets. There is so much I desire to do. So much I have to say, yet I’m quiet. Trapped behind my eyes that gaze forward. I’ve been told I am beautiful for the way I look, but inside I cannot see myself. Who is she? I ask the deceiving mirror. Ms. Mirror whispers lies onto me. She tells me I am simple. I am just flesh and bone, mysterious eyes where my soul resides.
By Lilly Ashley3 years ago in Journal
Creation is Passion
My passion is creation and creation is endless. I am fulfilled within myself. I take opportunities to put my passion into expression through creating art. I keep myself in motion. I used to spend so much time trying to perfect my art for other people instead of myself. I stopped creating for a long time because I feared the overwhelming feeling I created for myself trying to please others with my work. Now I don't aim for perfection at all. I aim to simply create. Allowing myself endless expression. Being in motion and putting my passion into something doesn’t get measured on any scale for me now. There is no perfection, just acceptance. Just as my art cannot be perfect I am not perfect, and this I accept. Still, I aim to be the best version of myself, and that is a goal I will be working towards my entire life. There is never an end to progress, learning, or growth and change. Just as I learn and change my art too transforms as I learn new techniques and styles. I have full control over my life because it comes with acceptance, and when I accept that I have no real control over anything outside of myself, that’s when I learn that I have complete control over myself. That’s the only thing that truly matters. My art is some form of representation of my inner self. Sometimes it may be messy and disorganized and other times it will be vibrant and precise. While how I think and feel directly correlates to my life it also correlates to the art I create. Fulfillment for me doesn’t come from anywhere else but myself. It’s as if my entire life up until now I wasn't me. I had been too afraid to be my authentic self, I had lost my authentic self somewhere far in the past and had just been living my life behind some shell. There was a whole other person behind that shell of who I could be, and I am still finding myself as I break free. It takes looking at all the tough things that created the shell to dismantle it. If I never look at the parts of me that are hard to see I would never find my true self that is awaiting behind them. Avoiding it will only allow the shell to consume me. I will not allow myself to become lost behind the very product of the things that created the shell. I have finally seen myself, and though it was hard, no one else could do that for me. I am seeing and hearing myself clearly now. Accepting myself and creating room for care and love for myself. Being the best I can be for others starts with being the best I can be for myself. I am supporting myself and allowing myself expression of passion through creativity. I am showing myself that it’s okay to be me. There is no need to hide behind that shell. No need to let fear confine me to stagnation, so I put myself in motion and I am filling myself up. I am never going to stop creating, learning, and changing. I am always aiming for that unreachable goal because accepting that it’s unreachable and giving it my best anyways is a hell of a win. Not letting fear talk me out of not even trying. I am taking steps forwards, like learning to walk again. What gives me passion? Why should anyone support my passion? I create art. Art is limitless, it cannot be confined or truly defined. Through all this personal growth I find the motivation to create. It is the one thing that is pure, magic in this world. It is the ability to take an idea and transmute it into this physical world to share. To express my growth in a wonderful way. I don’t ask that anyone support it because I will continue to create even without support. My true support comes from within myself, but if you can see the truly magical aspect of creation and art, then I would hope that someone could admire it. We, human beings, are creation itself. We are all creators, so I ask what is your passion? Are you going to wait around for outside support, or are you going to support yourself and take steps to simply create?
By Lilly Ashley3 years ago in Humans
The Hungry Void of Me
The day is cold. The sun is gleaming and the air is mellow around me, yet this day falls so cold. Perhaps it is me that is cold. I watch the dusty air caper around in the stream of sunlight that spills through the blinds. I find that I am aimlessly disconnected from everything. Lost stumbling somewhere far within myself. I am gasping for sweet air as I drift through the void of my mind that eats my dreams and lingers around my body like some putrid parasite. I am merely a shell of who I could be, a vessel for the indistinct emptiness that consumes my body. Emptiness becomes me. My eyes borrowed by my thoughts, like a prisoner they succumb to such blind power. My poor simple bones fall victim to the complex knot of thoughts that consumes me so. My limited perception of this life creates the perfect hellscape of such a blatant existence.
By Lilly Ashley3 years ago in Psyche