Leo Dis Vinci
UK-based creative, filmmaker, artist and writer. 80s' Geek, Star Wars fan and cinephile.
An Ewok's Smile
The stall-owner looked at me the same way a cat does a vacuum cleaner – equal parts fascination and hatred. My offer for the mint-on-card Chewbacca figure was clearly derisory. The stormtrooper next to me made an audible tut, his helmet rattling as he did. At Star Wars Celebration Europe 2016, people took their cosplay and collecting seriously.
My Grandma driving was all knuckle and bobble hat. Her car smelt like a washed ashtray. It was also possessed by the soul of a departed madman who had a penchant for switching on her turn signal. She assumed other motorists very polite as they passed waving their hands out of rolled-down windows. A ride with Grandma had the potential to fright or delight in equal measure.
The Slave and the Macaw
Chapter 1 -Landing Neck in chains. Hands bound. Wrists bloody. Shackled, we were dragged off the ship together. As I was, I caught my first glimpse of those magnificent birds. In that instant, they became flying rainbows of hope that I would be free again.
Skating on thin Ice
People love metaphors for life, don’t they? Life’s like an onion, a rollercoaster, a box of chocolates, an ocean, a seed you gotta plant and nurture. Seriously? Fuck off! I’ve heard them all. We all have a glass ceiling to shatter. We all must stare into the looking-glass. We’re all the authors of our own novels. Well, no shit Sherlock. But, none of those metaphors are right. Do you want to know what life really is? Do you want to know my metaphor? Here you go! Listen up Forrest! Life’s a frozen pond.
Gentlemen, it's time to MEATUS
For most of my life, I have used a racial slur to describe a part of my penis. It’s as shameful as it is unbelievable, but without thought, and much reason, since being a child, I have accepted the crude term ‘Jap’s eye’ to describe the hole at the end of my dick.
Ten MORE things Covid-19 has created that need naming
Last year, I created a coronavirus dictionary to help name ten new emotions and experiences that COVID-19 had helped create. It is my most successful Vocal piece to date, so like a Hollywood studio rather than create fresh new material, I am hoping that a sequel will bring similar success. Cynical, I know, but to be fair I think I have enough material to work with to make at least a Godfather II and maybe even ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ - just as long as it’s a better sequel than ‘Batman and Robin’ – I’ll be happy.
Papa, Pablo and Me (Pierre)
Chapter 1 – The Dealer The greed was sweating out of the dealer's skin. He had licked his lips at least once as he took the piece of paper from me and surveyed it. While he may have thought he was playing it cool, the moisture above his top lip glistening in the Manhattan sunlight betrayed him.