It's the UK's hottest recorded heatwave in 123 years (at least a meme I just saw on Instagram says so) and most of us are at a loss on how to deal with it. Do we stuff ice cubes down our bras before work? Do we lie face down on the grass and cry about the CO2 shortage that's pillaging our Prosecco supply? Fear not, my hot friends. Because a solution has been waiting for us all this time, and that solution is Brighton.
In my dreams, I am angry
My arms are lashing out
My hands outstretched to choke
My voice is filled with clout
In my dreams, I am strong
Have you ever stood at a busy bar for hours, watching countless others get served before you, cursing all the bearded hipsters who push to the front and get away with it, wondering if you'll be able to fit in that last round of shots before closing time? Fear not, because now you have a bartender by your side to let you know the REAL secret formula to getting served quickly and consistently. Note: none of these tips (pun intended) include staring down your bartender like Jack Nicholson until they serve you. Contrary to popular belief, it does not work.
There's a mark on the kitchen cupboard.
It's small and brown and probably could be scrubbed off or painted over, but no one has gotten round to it yet. It's not the first thing that people notice when they come to the house– in fact, most people never notice it at all. They're more likely to notice the amount of empty wine bottles and pizza boxes, or the fact we really need to give the place a Hoover once in a while.