London 🇬🇧🏳️🌈 Actor. Illustrator.
Where the Boys Go
The curfew starts at nightfall but the town had been packing itself away since late afternoon. “Not takin no chances” Mrs. Court had muttered as she plucked her chubby baby boy from the splash pool on the scorched lawn and bundled him into the house.
I was born with my sister’s hands around my neck. When the time came for us to depart our mother’s belly, the doctors pulled me out feet first. Furious that I should be presented to the world before her, Dori wrapped her tiny fingers around my throat and squeezed. She came out screaming and I came out green. The doctor had to slap my back to make me turn pink. “Green from envy,” my mother cried. “Midori,” she whispered, before she passed out. In my mother’s tongue, midori means ‘green’, but she never woke up to tell the English nurse, who’d already tied a tag around each of our baby ankles and written ‘Mi’ on mine and ‘Dori’ on my sister’s. They say some people reflect their names; Mr. Cage the jailer, Miss Pett the vet. We were named after envy and we spent the next 21 years living up to it.
When Maria Von Trapp (through the beautiful prism of Julie Andrews) sang about brown paper packages tied up with string in ‘The Sound of Music’, I knew she was my people. I get an obscene amount of pleasure from wrapping - gifts, parcels, cards, I don’t care - if it sits still long enough, I will wrap it.
The Winemaker of Deuxreines
I watch them every morning, the line of men walking past my farm. Each man carries a thin box. Some have small boxes they can carry in the palm of their hands, others need two hands to carry theirs and every now and then a donkey will accompany one of the men whose box is too large to carry himself. The donkey men are my favourite - so proud of themselves! Sometimes the men with the tiny boxes lose their nerve at this stage; they look at their own little box, and then to the donkey man’s box and back to theirs. Surmising that all hope is lost, they dash their box on the ground, relinquish their place in line and skulk off the way they came. I used to go out and collect these discarded little parcels. I’d bring them back to my kitchen table and open them as I pushed a hot jam and buttered croissant into my mouth. I always hoped I’d be surprised but I never was, so I stopped gathering them after a while. Always the same. An oil painting of the fields of Deuxreines. Most had cornflower blue skies, some were indigo and moonlit, others in the snow; pretty enough and they’d certainly look well above a fireplace but they would not do for our queen.
- Third Place in If This, Then That Challenge
5 Stranger Towns to Visit After Hawkins...Third Place in If This, Then That Challenge
I know. I KNOW. It’s been over a year since your last visit to Hawkins, Indiana. You miss Dustin. You’re itching to fly down Maple Street on your tricked-out BMX and what you wouldn’t give for a burger from Benny’s. Hawkins felt like home for three seasons so it’s no surprise that we’re experiencing a sort of homesickness for this strange little town. It all comes down to the milieu.
- First place in (Un)Common Knowledge Challenge
Love & War: The Gay Army who Destroyed the Spartans!🏳️🌈First place in (Un)Common Knowledge Challenge
When Gerard Butler King Leonidas led his 300 warriors into one of the most notorious battles in history, The Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC, his army became the ultimate symbol of strength, bravery and peak masculinity. This three-day bloody battle spawned countless iterations; paintings, statues, essays, novels, comic books, movies, memes and the fancy dress costume of choice for buff dudes.
The Procrastination Time Machine
Our future selves are assholes. It’s taken me a long time to realise this. I think most people will agree that when we’re asked to imagine our ‘future self’, we usually conjure up a superhuman being. It’s us, but better. I’d fall into this trap every New Year’s Eve, when a very strange phenomenon occurs, rendering me unconscious to my personal shortcomings. I’d write out my resolutions and goals for the year ahead with great aplomb. Sure, I might have spent the majority of the past 12 months on the couch, half-assing life...but future me? She’s got this! She’ll glide through life effortlessly, waking up at 5am to meditate and journal before busting out a 5k hike, green juice in hand. She’s never late, always remembers birthdays and somehow, between her many important meetings and working lunches, she manages to look like she’s stepped out of a magazine. She’s healthier, wealthier, happier, calmer...shinier somehow.
5 ideas to make your insta story pics more interesting!
A few years ago, an article about photo editing would have been filled with advice on aspect ratio, compression and bokeh (no, me neither). Whilst the world still needs skilled photographers who know their apertures from their shutter speeds, many of us without a knowledge of the craft can lay claim to having a photograph hanging in a gallery with over one billion visitors every month.