"Okay. Today's going to be a good day. You're going to be strong. You’re not going to eat," I tell myself as I stand in front of the mirror in my underwear. I turn left. I turn right. I twist my knees in to make my thighs look farther apart. I count my ribs, wishing I could see them all outlined against my skin without having to suck in my gut. I grab my upper arm, measuring how far around my hand can clasp.
Typically, I like very minimal makeup with a touch of glow or sparkle on the eyes and cheeks, with a moody, nude lip. To get this look, I had to go through a myriad of products, pretty much all of them drugstore. I am a college student after all, and I am not ashamed to say that I’ll buy blush instead of a decent dinner quite often. Priorities, right? Maybe not. Oh well.
Being a college student, I'm as stereotypical as they come - broke as hell. But even before pursuing my higher education (*sarcastic hair flip*), I have always pinched pennies. Growing up with money on my mind but also a massive love of fashion, I had to learn how to make a dollar go a long way. There are a few things that I’ve found over the years that I believe might be worth sharing.
I learned the hard way I could never slow down
You saw her sitting at a bus stop, waiting. Her backpack was slung carelessly over one shoulder. Your first thought was, "I want to know her name." When that thought struck you it was like a bolt of lightning. A new kind of energy was pumping through your veins. You were confused, but you were exhilarated.
I watched your uniform disappear around the corner in the airport. It took us seven minutes to say goodbye. I stood for seven more staring at the wall you vanished behind, and then I walked to my car. It was raining, and I remembered how you liked to drive in the rain. “It’s like a cigarette. It’s calming,” you’d said. I’d just laughed. Now I understood.