Motherhood: Always and Never Alone
I used to be woken up to the sound of a gentle soundscape coming from the speakers of my iphone. I'd roll over to see my dogs still cuddled up next to me and I'd think to myself, "What should I do today?" The possibilites were endless, I could write, paint, watch a movie, go on a drive or even take off to another city or state if I wanted to. Fast foward to the present day, I am woken up to the sound of crying or the crippling anxiety that I face. I roll over and think okay time to get up, get the dogs out, start a bottle, change her diaper, etc. The list of things to do already slowly taking over my eight hours I have without my husband home to help. I try to take breaths and not let the never-ending daily tasks overwhelm me before I even get out of bed.
***TRIGGER WARNING. MENTION OF SE*UAL AS*AULT IN THIS STORY. Sweet summer. For most people my age, summer is a breath of fresh air. A break from the eight hour school day, A break from homework, mean teachers and the early mornings. I remember thinking to myself, "This is going to be the best summer yet". It'll be full of fun, parties and adventure. The summer ended up being the worst of my life.