Without Your Permission
Did you consider the vast, deep, and ENDLESS repercussions that others would be forced to face when you left?
What you don't seem to know is that I feel your pain. I feel your pain so deeply. Do you KNOW that? Can you HEAR me?! Unlike your pain - which you choked out, extinguished, so conveniently for yourself - mine is endless. I'd have the courage to end things for myself - but I'd never have the courage to do unto others what you did unto me, your mom, your stepdad, your brothers, your friends. Did you not know that you were loved? Did I not tell you that enough? Did I not chase you enough? What would have been enough? Fuck depression, PTSD, anxiety, anger - I'm so tired of learning and understanding your goddam choice. I'm so tired of not having space in my mind to make my own choices. You've taken up far too much space for far too long.