Unpopular opinion: All men are bastards
Picture the scene: I’m the new kid at work. Whilst I’m yet to hear my name mentioned alongside the word “arsehole” or get an Inbetweeners style “hello my name’s Josh and I’m doing a shit” picture on my back, I know I’m the latest cannon fodder. The only way to survive is with exasperated laughter at my manager’s crap jokes and to keep up this façade at least until I pass my probation. Two weeks in and my now good friend Tara is talking about a guy that she went on a date with that turned out to be a bit of a weirdo. However, despite her squirms of how he kept her there for 3 whole drinks, I’m a bit taken aback when she says, “oh but he’s lovely”. Apparently, I thought that this was my time to make my mark on the team as I quickly interjected with “I’m sorry, but no man is a good man”, to be met with the silence of the entire floor and a burning sensation of eyes in the back of my head worse than a violent bout of chlamydia.