Hey, my name is Jay and I'm 18 years old. Look, I'm sure there will be a lot of people who won't believe what I'm about to tell you, but no matter how crazy this sounds, no matter how out of this world it is: it's all true. This is a true story about something that happened to me last year. The only reason why I'm telling you this is so you don't make the same mistakes I did. Believe me when I tell you that you shouldn't fuck with them. I'm only going to tell you this once, so please listen to me here and now; do not try this at home. Take what you're about to read to heart and let it be a warning to you all.