I love to write, and tell stories most of everything I tell people is true. Most people just can't believe someone can go through such tradety in one life time but here I am.
Okay, guys here is a little friendly advice. Women actually like gentlemen. So, opening doors and pulling out chairs for them to sit is one thing. I am talking about the works. Like waking her up with breakfast or when you're around your buddies and she looks kinda lost pull her close and just give her a little wink for encouragement. Tell her she is beautiful at least once a day. Let her know you really care. Offer to help with the dishes. Take her out on a Tuesday just because. Give her hugs and spoil her with kisses and affection.
It was a Thursday, not sure if it was morning or night for the doctors had given the woman much medication already. It was cold outside because it was November. After what seemed like forever it happened, the sound of a baby crying was heard from the delivery room. Roanoke Memorial Hospital in fact is where this all took place on what seemed like a normal Thursday. The baby is a girl and she was given a mouth full for a name. Katt Mae Marie Ayers the first name after an actor gone with the wind. Marie's name is Katt's mother’s best friend's Sharon middle name.
This is the face of addiction. I know I look fine and you can't really tell in this picture. At this moment I was homeless staying from one place to another anywhere someone would let me sleep on the floor or on their porch. It is crazy now that I think back on it. I can not even believe the dangerous places I went to just to have a place to shower and sleep. I am clean and sober now and have been for almost a year and a half. I was an addict for four years. The hardest part of my life so far and now I hate myself for even starting. Nobody wakes up one morning and says "hay I wanna become a drug addict." Things happen in our lives that make some people turn to drugs like the loss of a child cause that is what happened to me. My 8-month-old daughter died from SIDS while staying at her father's over the weekend. I lost my whole world that day. I couldn't go to work because my mind wouldn't function. How I was introduced to drugs was my best friend was doing them and told me it would help take my mind off the pain. Next thing I know I am broke and homeless and putting a needle in my arm to get through the next few hours. Two years go by and I am still homeless and have no real friends because nobody wants drugs around them or in their house. I find myself using old needles increasing my chances of giving myself Hep C. By the way for your education you can get Hep C from a bacteria in dry blood, so you can give it to yourself using a needle more than once. By year four I had overdosed three times. At this time I just wanted to die it wasn't like anyone would miss me right? Wrong I was hurting my family and what friends I did have because they just wanted me safe and to get sober. So my cousin introduced me to a group called celebrate recovery. This group was a support system for people who are clean and sober and trying to stay that way. I was in and out of the group for six months until my best friend almost died and had to have open-heart surgery. That changed my life. At that moment I had something to live for my best friend I had to get clean so I can help her stay clean because if not she would die. Once she came home from the hospital I started taking her to celebrate recovery every week. I still go once a week because you will always fight that urge to want to do it just one more time. It is hard but anyone can do with the right help and a good support system. I have been clean and sober a year and a half. I now help others who come into the group I am someone they can call any time of the day when they feel like they wanna relapse.
Setting here feeling so alone even though there are six people in this room. Biting my nails until there is nothing there, looking down when someone looks my way.