The Abuser
To My Abuser,
There’s so much I could and want to tell the world about what happened, but maybe your power and solace was in the fact that they’d not believe half of what I told them even if I did; and if they did believe me, then how could they have allowed it? How could they have let anyone walk into the snares of hell? So my bet is, your safety was in their lack of knowledge of who you truly are. It’s not that I didn’t see the offs: I did but I chose to see the little slither of light in all that was. If only I’d known it was but an allure into a torment designed on a hope to break me into hopeless submission; your perfect victim, often called the trophy wife. But little did you know that my fabric was a little different than you’d hoped for from the “broken girl” you’d met. With every trick you unveiled, I, like a sly fox caught on and you like a cunning one had yet another up your sleeve. What you failed to realize is that I was and am a student of life. So, even though you almost had me; boy! were you so close to breaking me, that even now the thought of you sends jolts through my body, and a memory of a moment with you sends me into a full panic and the occasional throwing up or the persistent nausea at the thought of you...but you didn’t break me...you almost did but you see, the fabric I’m woven of ricocheted all your bullets, and you didn’t quite know what to do with that. You were not ready for that, so you had one final play in your book, unfortunately to your own demise for here’s the thing, you lost. No matter how hard you tried, you lost. You lost your power over me, you lost your control over me, you lost your grip on me, and that must drive you wild. You watched me slip out of your hands like wet ocean sand slips from under one’s feet as the tide rolls in and out. In your mind, you thought you had a handle on this; the perfect victim but alas! out came your every weakness, your every failure; by your own power, exposing the parts of you, you wished could remain in the shadows. You beheld yourself in the light and you didn’t love what you saw because you saw yourself for who you truly are and me as your failed project…