Hysteria

Joined January 2022

0 stories

Bio

31, he/it, born and raised (mostly) in Germany - I like talking about my language and having as much fun with it as possible! It is very silly. Our long words are merely the beginning of it all.

more: https://400amtag.wordpress.com/links/

Stories (11/0)

Long German Words for the Apocalypse
Pesach sameach everyone! In my extremely obscure writing timetable that I’m never going to share with anyone, ever, for no real reason, it was time for another Weirdgerman, and it also happens to be Passover. So, I spent some time wondering if I could make this one thematic somehow. And I could, certainly. I came up with a few ideas. German words that are nearly but not quite the same in Yiddish, for example. That’s almost every Yiddish word, though. I’ve also thought about introducing you to the many German ways to say goodbye, because, you know. Passover’s a festival about getting the fuck out. And that did sound funny. But I actually have so much to say about German ways to say bye that I’ve been saving them up for their own post. Then, I could’ve gone Classic Weirdgerman and write about food again. But that would just make me miss bread. Oh my god I miss bread so much. Holy shit. Oh my fucking god. Just a few more days. Shit. Fuck.
By Hysteriaabout a year ago in FYI
Gender Is Fake, Culture Is Fake, Dragons Are Real
Here’s a fun fact about me. So, the first part of this post is about a food item of undetermined gender. And when I first planned this issue of weirdgerman, I initially was going to include another food item that I thought also had a dubious gender. Because, my whole life, I said der Brezel (that’s pretzel), until I moved to Bavaria, where people eat a lot of pretzels, and where everyone said die Brezel, or die Breze.
By Hysteriaabout a year ago in FYI
10 WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR OUTPUT
I write a lot. I try to write every day, which doesn’t always work out, but it does most days! As such, people often ask me how I do it. People often stop me in the street and ask, “Hysteria, how do you do it? We know you work part-time while studying in a field that is widely considered one of the most demanding in your country, and yet we see you banging out pieces several times a month! And they’re all so good!” they cry. “All of your words fuck severely! How do you make them come out?”
By Hysteriaabout a year ago in Lifehack
Big Garbage Can't
Normally I start these out with a brief introduction before we jump into weird German words. Introductions are really hard, by the way. Which is why I’m not going to do one this time!
By Hysteriaabout a year ago in FYI
How Jakob Pranked God
These Germans. They have a word for everything! Most of the time, that’s because the German language is a friend to compound words. You can cram any number of nouns together and pretend like that’s a normal word for something that has existed for years and you didn’t just make up. Partly, it’s also because we’ve had a lot of poets (as I am pretty sure most if not all languages do. Come on), and those guys tend to make up words when they need to, and they often end up pretty. Like when Shakespeare invented elbowing. I think.
By Hysteriaabout a year ago in FYI
August 6, 2022
You got up early today, or earlier than you normally would on a Saturday, to feed the neighbors' cats while they're on vacation. I watched you grab their newspaper afterwards, and come back home to us with it clutched underneath your arm. You were wearing an old morning robe, stained from escapades in hair dye, over sweatpants and pink plastic slippers. You were still waking up; the worst of the heatwave is over, for now, so the morning was cool, but the sun still shines. And you scrunched up your face, as if the light caressing your hair came with a foul smell.
By Hysteria2 years ago in Poets
Today's Gender of the Day Is Potato Salad
You know these things aren’t only about language. I’m not just teaching you funny words, that’s not what you’re here for, and that’s not what I’m here for either. Am I teaching you German culture? I don’t know about that, and I don’t want to think about it, actually, because defining the meaning of the word culture has been the bane of my existence for several years ever since I started university. So maybe it’s not about culture. (Because I don’t want it to be about culture.)
By Hysteria2 years ago in FYI
I've Had a Bad Week and I'm Going to Swear Now
Alright. I’ve had a shitty week. “Sit on my couch eating Nutella by the spoonful” type shit. I’m fine, before anyone starts worrying. Nobody’s dying, and I’ll get over it. It’s just that everything is difficult all of the time, and shit sucks.
By Hysteria2 years ago in FYI
Oh, You Like Bread? Name One Hundred German Words for It
The first time I tried to explain the pronunciation of umlauts to an American friend, I very nearly despaired. How do you explain a noise that someone simply has not had to make with their mouth for the past twenty years of their life? I know how to make the noise, but how do I convey it? When I say “ö,” my lips are in the same shape as when I say “o.” I lack the words to explain exactly what to do with your tongue inside your mouth to make a new sound, and if I get started on trying, shit’s gonna get real weird real fast.
By Hysteria2 years ago in FYI
Of Naughty Cellphones and Cringeworthy Verb Management
Technology has been advancing fast and hard. A hundred years ago, the traffic light was a pretty new invention, and yesterday, I listened to a podcast that predicted entirely automated cars by 2060. Well... I guess there's still 150 years between that, huh. Is that fast or not? Who knows. Passage of time has also been slightly inscrutable recently, hasn't it.
By Hysteria2 years ago in FYI
Clown Cannibalism, My Pal Paul, and Weeping Sausages
I told myself that I would make this nice. This thing I’m doing here, the writing thing. I told myself, I want to be funny, I want people to have a chuckle, and maybe I want them to learn something. I told myself, I am not going to get any nastier than I absolutely must.
By Hysteria2 years ago in Humans

Hysteria

Bio

Stories .css-19zxm0z-Text{display:inline-block;color:var(--text-default-mute);}(11/0)

Long German Words for the Apocalypse

Gender Is Fake, Culture Is Fake, Dragons Are Real

10 WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR OUTPUT

Big Garbage Can't

How Jakob Pranked God

August 6, 2022

Today's Gender of the Day Is Potato Salad

I've Had a Bad Week and I'm Going to Swear Now

Oh, You Like Bread? Name One Hundred German Words for It

Of Naughty Cellphones and Cringeworthy Verb Management

Clown Cannibalism, My Pal Paul, and Weeping Sausages

Stories (11/0)