hey there! my name is holly, she/they pronouns. This page is where I will be sharing pieces from my mind, heart, and soul. everything here means something to me, or has in the past. I write through pain, joy, life. Take a look and see (:
it’s but a simple pool, a temporary place to store one's thoughts, emotions, pain. but once the pool is full, like a magician pulling scarves out of their sleeve,
her name was Velkova. Twenty years old, she was a beautiful woman. A lady who lept. It was said that her hands had their own soul.
my thoughts, my mind
it’s how i feel, don’t change that. it’s my thoughts, my mind and so i’d take a bat, to fight the anxieties that strip me of my identities.
details from India
There are two ridiculously large dogs that live at the end of my street. They seem to be the “watchers” of this side of town, with both eyes closed fast asleep. When I go to Hindi class three days a week, there’s always the sweetest man who greets me with the most genuine smile. When the sky gets (rarely) exceptionally clear, I can almost see the stars. Their light streaks through the smoke and clouds, making a faint beat across my eyes. Chapatis are difficult to roll in a perfectly round shape, mine always come out as splotches or splatters. Every morning on my walk to school I pass by a woman who is exercising. We have now started greeting each other daily. The best place I had pani puri was a tiny little street vendor beside this massive market. A little paradise in a sea of chaos. The traffic has its own language. A certain amount of beeps for “coming on your left side!” and another amount for “MOVE I'M COMING”. Camels aren’t as hard to ride as I expected them to be. The humidity is something I’m almost getting used to. The bedsheets here are so gorgeous, nothing is ever plain, it's full to the brim of colors and designs. If my chai is too hot, all I need to do is get a saucer and pour a little into the plate and gently sip. We always leave our shoes outside. I teach a group of seven students every morning on the second floor of my school. There’s a truck nearby my house that has the tune “It’s a Small World” built into its system, so whenever the car backs up the song blares out. Everyone from four blocks away can hear it. The most popular channel in my house is “Zee Marathi”. I can now eat spicy foods and don’t need to gulp down water between bites. Every morning I take my shower and hang my towel up over the bed. I made a new friend yesterday in a cafe, and now we’re having dinner soon. I’ve met foreigners from Brazil, Texas, New York, and England, just to name a few. Another new friend I met is currently creating an art piece made from wood to (hopefully) give to President Obama in January. I helped him change his logo from “They believed in you” to “We still believe”.
what is love
What is love baby don't hurt me don't hurt me no more. what is love baby don't hurt me don't hurt me no more. 1:27 am.
Sand caresses skin Salt flows into water Ears pop and become silent Hair floats above you Your fingers start to wrinkle
History as we know it does not always equate to the truth. Often, we are taught that the books in our history classes hold the facts, the right and true path of our ancestors. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
July 5th, 1959
Seneca was born on July 5th, 1959. Her parents wanted to give her a name that wasn't too common, and for the rest of her life she would receive compliments for it. Seneca grew up in the house her father had built in the 50's. She had one older brother, Lorenzo. Being close to the ocean, Seneca would spend her early years waddling around between the rocks and sea anemones. Her tiny fists would grab the damp sand and she would feel it crumble out of her palm. At the age of six, her family piled into an old Volkswagon Van and drove from California to Argentina. They did the same in Europe, camping in odd places and roasting dinners over the fire. When Seneca was in grade school, she protested the "no pants for girls rule'' and proudly wore a pair of trousers one day. The rule was changed. In high school, Seneca lived across the ocean in Germany for one year. She lived in a castle filled with antlers and vintage carpets. My mother has lived a very exciting life. Adventures heavily scattered throughout her childhood. That excitement took a very different turn when she had her first child, Evan. When Evan was a young toddler, he was diagnosed with Autism, Lennox Gastaut Syndrome, and a seizure disorder. This news shook my mother's entire world. Every thought she had about Evan's life now became completely different. Medications were ordered, specialized Doctors visits, and from then on, everything changed. I was born not too long after, and growing up, my mother and I formed a beautiful bond. She would hand dip her fingers in sparkly glitter to show the footpath of the tooth fairy from the night before. There was a hammock in our yard where one night we sat and became the audience of a glorious meteor shower. We would find the time just for the two of us, to walk along the creek in the summertime, or to catch a theatre show in town. Seneca realized that with the hand that she had been dealt, she would have to work extra hard to create one-on-one time for me, since Evan needed so much already. It took me many years to realize that truth. Her passion for travel rubbed off on me, and before too long I left the nest to live across the ocean as she once did. I left many times but always came back to that house my grandfather built in the 1950's. On March 5th, 2020 Seneca went to the Emergency Room for severe back pain. After much testing was done, she was diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer and kidney failure. Another world was shaken. Now my mother is the one ordering medications and going to special doctor visits, fighting every single day. This news has changed how I think about my mother and my life. I had always admired her and for every school assignment when they asked "who you most look up to", it would always be her. Now there is a deeper form of admiration. I see a woman who was a single mother, raising two children. I see the mother who would eat her dinner over the kitchen sink every night because there was always something else that needed to be done. I see her making phone calls and planning months in advance for my brother so she and I can have an adventure of our own. I see the sacrifice, devotion, and strength she holds. Seneca was born on July 5th, 1959. From that first breath, she has led with love. I love you more than words Mom. Keep fighting.