Holding Hands With Shadows
Bio
It's only a phase.
Stories (15/0)
My Monster
I dig my nails into my palms, deeper and deeper, making little crescent shapes. I push the tip of my tongue into the sharp tooth I like to use, it is dulled over the years, but it still helps. I try to breathe. Stop being such a spazz. It’s difficult though. The thoughts come faster and faster, all at once, creating a dull hum in my head like a hive of bees, slowly getting louder. It makes me want to bang my head right into the table. After a deep breath, I lick my lips, and glance around. I don’t think anyone has noticed us yet. Our disguises are working. I guess you don’t need to try as hard as I do though. I don’t want to say that you’re not real. I think that maybe you are, but I know that they can’t see you. Even I can’t always see you, but I can feel you. Your hand on my shoulder, your claws tapping away at my skin, digging in every now and then to make my body shudder.
By Holding Hands With Shadows3 years ago in Psyche
Better Days Will Come
I lay in bed shaking and gasping for breath every time that sleep starts to find me. It’s like my body fears the unconsciousness. As soon as sleep comes quietly tiptoeing around the corner, my body screams. I can feel it building in my throat and my stomach turns. I squeeze my eyes closed begging my body to stay still until it feels like it will explode. I tremble and gasp before attempting to relax again. I slowly pull my body away from yours to curl up alone, hoping my shivers won't disturb your slumber. Sleep whispers for me again and I whimper. I want to sleep so desperately but my body knows that the nightmares are coming. We play tag for a bit and then I sleep for hours. When I wake my body is sore and I have new scratches from clawing at myself in hopes to escape whatever monsters my subconscious was trying to throw at me last night.
By Holding Hands With Shadows3 years ago in Psyche
Over My Head
*Disclaimer: Random story tid-bit. If you're into commitment, do not read, it will likely never be finished.* I sat with her in the sand, wondering if the tide would reach us soon, pull us in under the water. I thought that maybe that would be better. Actually, to be honest, at the time I thought that there was nothing in the whole world better than sitting there getting cold next to her.
By Holding Hands With Shadows3 years ago in Humans
The Darkest of Days
I can feel it, like black ink slowly seeping into my brain. Soaking in and making itself at home. I feel it dripping through my body, spreading throughout my veins to each and every fingertip. Holding my eyes open is difficult, everything is heavy. My body is jittery and shaking on the inside, but I am so, so tired. I smile and laugh, nodding my head at whatever was said a moment ago. I missed it completely but everyone else thought it was funny, so I join in hoping that that’s the right thing to do. I feel like a shell of myself on days like this. The outside me, the shell is there to wave good morning and she moves around like a normal, functioning human being. Then there is me on the inside. Not connected to anything on the outside, just there, curled up and wondering when it will be time to sleep. I’m just there protected by my shell. I rattle around on the inside, vibrating out of control, itching to get out. I can’t really hear much of what happens on the outside, but I try really hard to process and respond accordingly anyway.
By Holding Hands With Shadows3 years ago in Longevity