BioI'm just a poor girl, from a poor family; spare me this life of millennial absurdity. I also sometimes write steamy romances under the pen name Michaela Kay such as "To Wake A Walker."
Twice the Pleasure
Science says that women like sex. That their libido is often on parallel with men's, and that especially for young and older women, sex is something they highly value. Yet, many women find this assertion itself baffling, as their own body has little want or need for sex.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 25)
Rejection is an ordinary part of life. And, while there may be some added emotional sting to the rejection that comes with creative pursuits, it is still no different than the rejection that greets us every day. I am practiced at rejection. I like to mention to people who think that they will work at a library that I got hired on my 98th application. I have submitted poetry to literary journals every week for almost two years now. I went through a list of over 150 agents when I was first pitching my first novel. Rejection is something that I have a lot of practice at.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 24)
So, I'm trying to do some introspective type things in preparation to see a therapist. In that, I don't know if therapy is going to be helpful at all, so I am trying to figure out what it is that I want from it at all. I mean, I've always gone into therapy with goals before. "Hey, I'd like to stop this behavior," or "Hey, so my depression is a little off the charts, can we figure out how to fix it?" But, that isn't really the point. Because, looming far bigger than any question of stopping me from chewing my fingernails or getting myself back into a healthy sleep routine is the question of what to do about the big issue under it all.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 23)
I'm applying for jobs, right? Because I legitimately cannot stay at the one that I am at. Because I need to be an adult for a little while, and I need to find something stable. I need a job where I will always know that I will have health insurance. I need a work week that is the same every week. I need a career that has somewhere to go. Because I'm sick of being poor and trying to make the impossible be financially fungible. It isn't. Because I need a job where I don't have to worry about talking to people every day and letting my social meter slowly degrade while I neglect friendships and relationships.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 22)
So, I went in for surgery yesterday. It was a pretty routine exploratory surgery (meaning that they were looking for problems and confirming diagnosis, rather than treating anything), but it meant that I was put under. And as one of the nurses was working her way through the usual intake questions about family history, and whether or not you felt safe at home, and whether or not you have thoughts of harming yourself or taking your own life.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 21)
A couple years ago I started to see references to the term "narrative therapy" as a therapeutic toolset. At the time I was between therapists, but while art therapy, cognitive behavioral theory, and more traditional psychotherapy had all felt artificial and problematic, I instantly grasped and appreciated narrative therapy.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 20)
So. It is happening. I will soon have health insurance. And with that health insurance, comes the potential for reduced therapist rates! Now, I'm locked into the crappy provider list of the insurance company, which is a little bleak looking, but there are options—which is more than I could say before.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 19)
So, as some background here: I have an uncle who suffers from schizophrenia. His illness is well-treated, and he lives well enough, though he isn't able to live independently. My mother once told me that his provider was concerned that his schizophrenia was actually a particularly severe psychotic depression combined with a low IQ. After all, though he is paranoid about the government, he never really felt that he was receiving secret messages. Instead, his fixation was on how awful things are. On how garbage the government is, on how much they don't care about the wellbeing of people. On how awful life often is.
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 18)
So, I am close, so close, to seeing a doctor. And, I am so worried that they are going to have bad news for me. That it will take another 3 months for me to even get tested for sleep apnea, or that I do have sleep apnea (I have a mild phobia of things on/smothering my face while I sleep so I am not really looking forward to a diagnosis that would mean getting used to strapping a thing to my face. It would probably go the way of my night guard for tooth grinding, and I'll wind up not using it and just accepting that I will feel lousy.), or that it is all because of my weight (which is its own looming doom of trying to deal with. If an under 1k calorie diet doesn't work, what drastic measures could they possibly take?), or that my sleep issues aren't that bad and I should just suck it up.