Writer. Reader. Long time lover of life.
At the age of 19, I am beginning to learn the benefits of liking myself, and more importantly liking being around myself. See there has always been, within my own mind, and freakish separation between the Hanna that is fully me, and the one who just needs to get shit done. Until recently I would go about my day fulfilling most tasks mindlessly, making lists to myself of everything I had to get done, then once I was finished with my work for the day, I would find someway to continue to push down the mindful Hanna, keep her down with television, scrolling through worthless content on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. I would not think, I would not be alone with myself, rather I would turn to the noise of the world to drown out the person who I really needed to be a friend to.
On New Life
I remember waking to my mother’s screams, and believe it or not, it was not an unfamiliar sound. It was December 12th, 2005, in five hours my sister Sammie would be born. The third sister whose birth I would get to witness, and the one I would never forget. I had been waiting the past nine months for this moment and now it was finally here. The excitement shot me out of my bed like a tiny eight-year-old cannon. I sprinted to my older sister’s room, the sound of my feet slapping on the cold hardwood floor echoing in the hallway. I jumped up on her bed in hopes of being the one to wake her and share the news but she wasn’t there, I was disappointed with the realization she had woken up before me.