Guy Sigley
Bio
I write about relationships. The funny. The sad. The downright absurd. Life, really . . .
guysigley.com
Stories (14/0)
The Overzealous Dads Debacle
I’m confident that if this was a real game, we could totally take them out. Sienna’s dad is limping slightly, Lucy’s dad looks like the last time he played soccer, they filmed it in soundless black and white, and I’m pretty sure Megan’s old man hasn’t been to bed. Unless he always wears his shirt unbuttoned to his navel, which isn’t out of the question given he works in advertising.
By Guy Sigley3 years ago in Families
A Fickle Fortune
Something’s not right. Why is there a camera crew here? I slow my approach and narrow my eyes. A quick scan of the area reveals that everything else seems to be in place. The cashiers are scanning and bagging items like they do day in, day out. There’s a soda can pyramid advertising discount cola next to a complex, ten-foot toilet paper structure that, while impressive, makes me wonder how anyone could grab a pack without causing the entire tower to collapse, Jenga-style.
By Guy Sigley3 years ago in Journal
Appendectomy
“This is much more civilized than a meeting room, don’t you think?” he says. No, I don’t, actually. I would much prefer the safety of a poorly ventilated room that has a defined escape route; namely, the end of the meeting. But because I’m having lunch with a member of the executive leadership team, I do what you should always do when answering a question from someone with his own car park.
By Guy Sigley3 years ago in Feast
Remedial Therapy
I’m pretty sure she just leaped onto the table. I can feel her creeping up with the soft paws of a leopard just before it disembowels you. It’s unconventional and disconcerting, but I remain silent and stoic, primarily because I’m lying stomach-down with my face jammed into a gap the size of an iPhone. And I’m not wearing a shirt.
By Guy Sigley3 years ago in Longevity
Shake It Off
Sometimes a man just has to have a caramel milkshake. Right now is one of those times. The café is what you might call “über chic.” With minimalist décor and wait staff more attractive than shampoo and conditioner models, I feel like the kid in corduroy when everyone else is wearing denim.
By Guy Sigley3 years ago in Humans
Baby Love
Fatherhood has changed me. Whereas once I would have entered a hospital room full of hesitation and self-doubt, today I don’t want to enter at all. Beyond this door is a baby. And what do I know about babies? This: they’re odd looking and they break easily.
By Guy Sigley3 years ago in Families