By the time I was midway through college, I was resigned in knowing I would never meet someone. I was just too awkward, a dinosaur among the opposite sex. I always felt too ironic to fall in love in any real way. I was so full of knowledge from romance books, movies, and TV shows that whenever the opportunity would arise at talking with a guy, I got so in-my-head about how “meet-cute” the moment was that I forgot they were speaking to me. To me, it was better, safer, to just live in my head about how great a guy is in my class than it would be to follow through with the actual dating and getting to know each other part.
Negative self-talk is that voice in your head that participates in creating negative “truths” about you that are often times completely false and pretty savage. The habit of listening to this voice can impact your confidence and play a role in the choices you make. Continuously feeding into this negative dialogue can have major consequences. Some of which are an increase in stress, insecurity, and the way we view others and the world. We tend to over-identify with this voice and give it credibility where it isn’t warranted. Here are some helpful ways to address negative self-talk and start reframing negative statements into positive thoughts.
Meditation is something that, to really feel the full benefit of, you need to practice on a routine basis. One of the most important things to understand when you first start meditating, is the idea that the thoughts you have don’t always translate to being the reality of what happens around you. In life, we build our own realities based on that voice in our head. For example, say you’re out to lunch with a friend and you say “let’s get an appetizer.” This friend responds with “I can’t afford the calories.” That voice in your head might immediately translate that statement to “Well really your friend is saying you can’t afford those calories either” or if you’re me that directly translates to the voice in my head saying “Your friend thinks you're fat.” The reality of the situation is your friend might be on a diet or trying to save money with not the slightest clue that you might take that in an offensive way. That voice in your head ends up creating a reality that lot of times really isn’t the truth of the situation. Meditating helps because you become so much more aware of that voice. Becoming more aware of that voice is really in an important step to living a more positive and fulfilled life. As you continue on this meditation journey, you can start investigating the root of what causes that voice in your head to create negative interpretations. We can start the process of this awareness and eventual happiness by dedicating just three minutes a day to checking in on ourselves. Below are some steps for beginner meditations.