In the Final Moments...
I heard his voice in my head gasping for breath, crying, pleading for help! It was me! I was dying all alone in the hospital bed in a private room…a lonely room! There are times for privacy but this was not one of them! I don’t want to be alone! I want to be with my family! I want to tell them… I want to see them! I want to say I love you to each one of them! Why can’t they be here now? To hell with safety protocols! I know my time is up. I know I am fading… I cry for myself. I cry for my family. I cry for my wife, my sons, my daughters, my father, my mother…They have to carry on without me now. They have to cope. They have to be okay. I need to tell them they will be okay without me somehow. I don’t know how but what else can I say? They need to be encouraged. They need to see me smile one last time or maybe it’s better this way. Maybe they should hold on to the best memories from before and not see me like this. Maybe this would make it easier for them. Oh, but I’m scared for me! Where will I go? What will happen to me? Will I go anywhere? Will there be a me? Is it just a sleep as I have heard or will there be flames and punishment? I don’t know now. I have to believe. I have to be strong for myself. I always believed in heaven. I believed that’s where I would go, so that’s where I will go. I will be me and I will go on. But I am not ready to go. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be alone. No one said how hard it will be to let go of my life.