Donna Gilchrest
Bio
I am a 65 years young single female with an interest in writing, mostly comedy. I have had some funny events in my life and I wish to share some humor to, hopefully, make people laugh.
Stories (3/0)
My Little Runaway!
My father died when I was seven years old and my mother remarried when I was around ten. I didn't get along too well with my stepfather and when I entered my teen years, I began running away from home. I was not alone, I was always accompanied by a boyfriend. One time, a boy and I ran away to his relatives in the Carolina's but for some reason, the next three times I ran away was to New York City! The boy I was with was several years older, so I deferred to his opinion often. Ah, how I remember the excitement of all the activity in Times Square. We had some money initially, but that was soon depleted and we had to resort to stealing food in order to survive. This was back around 1968 and at that time, when you ordered food to go from a restaurant, they gave you the food first and you paid after. So, I would go inside the establishment and place our order while my boyfriend was outside waiting in case a distraction was called for. I would get the food, then run out the door without paying, after all, we had zero money. One time, a worker chased me out the door and my boyfriend intercepted long enough for me to get away. That was how we were able to eat. I swear it's because of people like me that restaurants began asking for the money first and then providing the food. The other scary part was in finding places to sleep. I remember sleeping during the day in Central Park. When the prospects soured, we would return home only to run away again shortly thereafter. The third time we went to New York City, we had a car. Unfortunately, it just so happened to be stolen. Since I didn't know how to drive, my boyfriend did the driving. We also stole some money, so we were good for awhile. The worst part was having to constantly move the car to a parking spot. When the money got low, we returned to our home state, but to one of his friend's apartments. We parked the car a few blocks away. One day, while I was going to obtain some of our belongings from the car, a man asked me my name and I gave a fake name. He saw right through me and I was arrested for a runaway, stubborn child, and stolen car. Thank goodness I was a juvenile so the stolen car didn't stick. However, I wound up being sent to a juvenile detention center for six months. Afterward, I was placed into an all girls boarding school run by nuns. All of the girls were assigned jobs to do and they would vary. Sometimes, you worked in the kitchen or for the priest, etc. We also had an infirmary at the school and I was working there for some time. I planned to finish my schooling and do my time, but, alas, the wanderlust struck and I was itching to run away, this time from the boarding school.
By Donna Gilchrest6 years ago in Criminal
You're In the Army, Now!
Remember the old movies where the men joined the French Foreign Legion in order to forget? Well, I guess you could say she did the same when joining the Army. Her personal life was in an uproar from a break up to your place of employment for the last 4 years going, "Belly Up." In other words, she joined for all the wrong reasons but was determined to make the best of things. She was to go to AFEES, (Armed Forces Examining and Entrance Station) in Boston first, then travel by subway to the airport to catch a flight to lovely Fort Jackson in Columbia, South Carolina. This was her first attempt at navigating the subway system and she was having difficulty. She would ask someone which line to take, not realizing she also had to know which direction the airport was in. She took the green line, got off and found she had traveled the wrong direction. After some time doing this, she eventually set her bags down and burst out crying, partially from sheer frustration. A man working for the T spoke to her and explained how to navigate the underground. At last, she arrived at the AFEES building. When she finished her business and was preparing for her flight, she made a stop at a restroom to use the facilities and to freshen up before her flight. At one point, she set her eyeglasses on top of the waste basket in order to wash her face when she watched them slip off the barrel and smash on the floor. "Great," she thought, just what I need, I am nearsighted meaning I can't see far away and now I am visually impaired. What a way to begin your enlistment. She boarded the plane and settled down to await her arrival.
By Donna Gilchrest7 years ago in Serve
Boob Tube
It was a warm summer day, and she was clad in a tube top, denim shorts and sandals as she headed into the supermarket. She did not bother getting a shopping cart or even a hand basket as she was only getting a few items. Well, as many of us know, that is when we usually get more than we initially planned. She casually made her way up and down the aisles, gathering her scant purchases when, just as she was about finished, she spotted some succulent corn on the cob which she just had to have! She began gathering some corn and by the time she was ready to pay for her items, she found her arms full. She made her way to the check out line and began unloading her purchases onto the conveyor belt. While doing so, she noticed quite a bit of corn silk adhered to her top, so she began brushing it off. The clerk, who happened to be a young man of about 20, began ringing up the items when, just as he glanced at her, she brushed so hard that she brushed her tube top off to the point where her left breast was now completely exposed. She said, "Oops," and pulled her top back up, continued with her transaction, and nonchalantly headed out the door. What else can a person do when confronted with such an embarrassing situation? One can only imagine the conversation later that the clerk had with his coworkers!
By Donna Gilchrest7 years ago in Filthy
