I Am... an Adult Child of Alcoholism
After leaving years of pain behind me when I turned 18, and hoping to follow a path that led to happiness and fulfillment, I found myself even more lost at 28, 10 years later. I now had a family of my own, lots to be proud of, a promising future with one thing holding me back. I was an adult child of alcoholism. The one thing I ran from, only came back to haunt me in my future. I had bouts of depression, and struggled severely with anxiety. I questioned myself constantly, to the point of exhaustion. I found myself sitting in front of trained professionals, hoping they could tell me what was causing this pain I felt. How can I make it go away? Am I just crazy? After sitting in front of therapist after therapist, I finally found one that brought to my attention the many characteristics I have as a result of my dysfunctional alcoholic home as a child. The many years of uncertainty, of self doubt, of teasing, and of abuse, had formed my flawed self. From birth until 18 years of age, I had developed coping mechanisms to survive this painful experience. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms are still present and have caused many issues in my adult life.