I hear a lot of people wanting to mend a broken relationship but don't know where to start. Forgiveness is the first step to mending a broken relationship. Yeah, I know it's not that easy and what if they don't deserve forgiveness? I've had to do a lot of forgiving in my life, just as I've needed forgiveness from others. That doesn't matter forgiveness is for you. At the end of the day, it helps you feel better. And now you are like, how do I start forgiveness?
For a while I've let the sexual abuse I've experienced control me. It was like this forbidden thing to talk about. It felt so taboo to own my truth, say it out loud, and finally be okay with it. I could not give myself the permission to be okay with life. How could I give myself permission to live a happy life when I experienced trauma, and had to say good-bye to the little girl inside of me too soon?
The other day I was reading a post that asked if it would be wrong for a man to be on a family outing with his children and their mother, and for him to just want to take a picture with just his children. And he was in a relationship with another woman. My vote is yes!
For the past several years, I've been making jewelry. I started out with recycling things, but it didn't look like fashionable jewelry. Then it turned into beads, which was much more fashionable but it was cliche and boring. Then it turned into an expression of my art through jewelry, by using clay, resin, and real bugs. The recycling things and expressing myself awakened what I loved as a child. Crafting! I used to make miniature chairs out of paper, and make wall Christmas trees for the kids so we could gift each other our toys that we already had. It made me so excited. The person I thought I had lost, she was back! The more research I did on people making their own jewelry, I began to find unique things. I found that you could put almost anything in resin. My favorite thing became putting dragonflies, bumblebees, lady bugs, butterflies, and any other beautiful insect I could put into resin, to make jewelry out of it. A lot of work goes into to them, and I was thinking this is so freaking awesome! But the more I went to my venues and the more crafty things I was making, I began to get "Oh, this is very unique" "This is very different" "It's kind of weird". Like they were trying to be nice but they were like no sweety this is not were it is at.
As a child I've experienced my share of abuse at the hands of others. I've learned and experienced things at a young age that no child that young should know about. So, naturally, I matured faster. Which led me to believing I had pretty much lived life enough and knew what I wanted. Granted, there are things that I matured faster in than others, emotionally. But I was under the impression that all my emotional growth was together. You have several aspects that make up emotional growth. I came to realize what I experienced as a child had me looking for love in a lot of the wrong ways.