Anxiety 101
We finished dinner in a fair amount of silence. I looked at my phone and saw the calendar reminder about Bible study, most of us found ways to cope with what came after, we, they are the stronger minds. I don’t think I can take that ride alone. I closed my eyes and thought to myself, this is where the fear talk begins. Everyone around me has anxiety, the stronger minds are able to move forward with their futures while the others run their minds at a snail’s pace, often looping them round and round the fear-a-go-round. Whatever happened to the sun, that happened to the earth, and further happened to God, is the problem. Mr. Fear keeps 75% of the population prisoner and 25% wishing we were too. To be honest with myself, I fear that when it gets dark, I will not be able to find my way back to Elder. I go into a trance staring at the shrimp in my salad. “Zella, it’s okay if you don’t go tonight. You’ve been through a lot over the last week. Hey, if you like, I could go with you.” I gave him a knowing look, “I’m okay Elder,” and I had already decided I wasn’t going to go. “I’m not going, perhaps I will study before I go to bed.” He looked at his plate and twirled his pasta slowly. I think I often push him away just like this. I reach my hand across the table, “I’m afraid a lot, I think you know that Elder. Please do not think that your company is not wanted. I have to somehow deal with my thorn the best way that I know how." "Okay. I’m going to retire. Maybe we will airwalk tomorrow?” Elder said softly. “Yes, that sounds like a good plan." I smiled widely. "Don’t worry about the dishes. I got them.” “No, Elder, let me get them, I want to remain functional.” I approached and gave him a hug. “Thank you. Now, please just go and get some rest.” He angled his head down at me, breathing in the smells of me, squeezed me back, then broke away. “Good night.” “Good night.” I said with a warm raspy tone. Air Walking is something stronger minds, like ours, are able to do now.