Callie McKinney

What We’ve Learned

Don't do this and don't do that. That's all we ever hear growing up. You can't go here and you can't go there. It's too late for that and it's just too dangerous for you. Why? We ask. Because you're a girl we're told. But since when is being a girl a bad thing? As soon as we're able to understand what's being said, we're told to be careful around certain family members. The question is, why let those family members near us if that was the case? Ever since we were old enough to attend school we were told that if a boy was mean to us, he secretly liked us. So then everyone wonders why we get into abusive relationships. We're just accepting the love that we were taught at a young age to accept. Ever since kindergarten we were told we couldn't wear certain clothes because it's too distracting to the boys' learning environment and even to male teachers. Why should the boys' education be valued over ours? Why have those types of male teachers? Ever since we were old enough to go places on our own we were told to never go anywhere by ourselves, in fear of something bad happening to us. Why should that be such a common fear? For as long as I can remember, I've always been told to watch my back when I go somewhere, watch what I wear, don't do this and don't do that because it isn't ladylike, males' education and lives are valued over my own. While one in sixteen men are raped or sexually assaulted, one in five women is raped every single day. Sixty-three percent of rape is never reported because who would believe us in this society? Rape culture "doesn't exist" but yet the victims are always the ones blamed for the crime. "Your dress was too short." "Your shirt was too low." "You shouldn't have worn those heels." "You were drunk." "I wasn't sure if you meant it or not when you said no." "You didn't stop me." All of these things are said to victims of sexual assault so why would we come out and say anything? Women have been oppressed since the beginning of time and it isn't getting any better. Hell, our right to vote isn't even 100 years old yet. We're still treated like objects to provide pleasure for men's sexual fantasies. We're treated like garbage and abused every day of our lives. We're told we aren't good enough but yet they question why we stress over not being perfect. Society puts so much pressure on not being over a certain weight, boobs being a certain size, and hair being a certain length. If your makeup doesn't look like this, you're ugly. If you don't look like you just had plastic surgery, you're ugly. No matter what you do, if you don't look like this model in a magazine that we photoshopped, you're nowhere near perfect. If you tell a man no, he doesn't understand. Either he doesn't understand or he doesn't care about what you say. It's sad that we live in a world where we have to say "I have a boyfriend" instead because men respect other men instead of you and what you say. Women are scared to tell men no because if we do, we're either beat to death or shot up. Women have to fight for their basic rights as a fucking human being and that shit isn't cool. Men always say that if it weren't for men, women wouldn't be here, when, in fact, women are the reason men are here. Little boys grow up not being taught how to respect women and grow into wife beaters. They grow into players who hurt a good girl just to get a laugh. It’s time to put an end to this.