BUI PHUOC TIEN

Ways to Make Yourself More Interesting

We begin with a peculiar finding. The amount we feel we have to say about ourselves to certain people differs greatly from that to other people. We tend to judge people based on how entertaining they are, but we run the risk of missing a more serious and pertinent issue when we associate certain people with being boring while others do not. When someone asks, "So, what have you been up to lately?" we can come up with a plethora of topics, but when someone asks the same question, we can barely recall that we have ever existed. To explain this phenomenon, we have to attribute our unconscious minds with a faculty we might not have known we possessed throughout our interactions with people. How interesting does a given person make us feel? Why does our mind quickly fill with stories when we are around some people while we experience ourselves as blank dull and close to inert around others? indicators of how much our conversation partner is comprehending and valuing what we're saying when we bring up a specific topic How much does this person's eyes light up? How much of our world can they accept? How much shock value can they handle? How much can they take in stride? From the answers to these numerous data points, we typically arrive at a broad and active conclusion without even realizing we've done so. Therefore, the question is, how much of what is noted and complex in us can they safely receive? How much of our reality would we need to hide from them to spare them and us an alarmed or censorious response? how much of me this person is likely to get and rather simply the more the answer is a lot lot the more we will have to say and the more the answer is not so much the more a cautionary Instinct will form inside us telling us to remain quiet this simultaneously helps to explain how someone gets to be a companion around whom people feel they have a lot to say they do this by opening many rooms in their own minds or if you like by saying a lot to themselves of course this is far from simple many rooms of our minds contain very frightening things indeed areas of properly daunting loss pain horror and Chaos which we can be forgiven for never wanting to go anywhere near yet a person will feel interesting precisely to the extent that they have become a brave and relaxed Wanderer inside their own minds that they have become familiar and one could almost say at ease with things that are sad dark agonizing and potentially shameful when they're at home with their own anxiety grief strangeness and silliness so by a beautiful principle of reciprocity they will be at home with ours as well where they have gone we can follow because they have talked to themselves we will be able and Keen to talk to them what they have felt safe exploring in themselves we will be able to safely unpack around them this gives us guidance as to how to become a more interesting person for others by becoming the best possible We need to open as many doors to our psyches as we can because, as travelers within ourselves, we will simultaneously send out a covert signal to others that we will be a safe recipient for all of their smaller, more private, less often mentioned observations and feelings. Once we have the courage to say a lot to ourselves, others will have much to say to us.