I have come to the conclusion that I and everyone else has been drip fed the notion that everyone after 30 ceases to be beautiful and youthful. I can remember countless jokes on TV where the much older male character would be dismissive of any woman over 25, as if their use ended the day they had their next birthday. I've spent countless hours obsessing over turning thirty and why it was a terrible thing, and finally, I’ve decided that everything I know about ageing and beauty is complete bullshit, and here's why.
In the UK shops are set to reopen on June 15th, and like a lot of us, I am desperate to piece myself back together, the urge to run to shops to buy fast fashion, hair dye, and buy the things that make me feel like me is strong. But then I started to think about how much of my identity is different, cue The Internal Shift.
Over the past week, I have been closely looking at my community and the inherent offence that comes with it. Why are people in my community so desperate to prove that they were not a racist before this? Why are they so desperate to prove that they aren't one now? What do they do past posting inspirational quotes? Social media is practically buzzing with defensiveness, faces behind computer screens getting redder and redder, desperate to rid themselves of any guilt by sharing countless slogans, participating in #blackouttuesday, and weeping for the black community.
Choosing to binge watch a series is a big decision, what we are all basically doing is enjoying a shared delusion that we can control ourselves around our new “favourite thing in the world ever you HAVE to watch it, it will change your life” show.
I skipped university in favour of earning a wage, as a young girl my mum would tell me about her career in casinos, and although it was far from the glamorous representation that James Bond would have you believe, I was always fascinated as to why she viewed it as the best days of her life and yet begged me not to go for it myself. One day and true to my petulant form I saw an ad in a local newspaper, (yes there were still paper ads rather than online ads even as recent as 2008), I called and was accepted into a training school which would ultimately change my life forever.