Bethany Lazuli
Bio
Stories (3/0)
Creator of Chaos
I began my school years as the annoying kid with no friends. Growing up, I was always left alone by myself for recess until I switched schools for grade eight. My last year of elementary was spent carefully selecting my social circle since they would be the ones accompanying me into high school. I would only consider those who clearly dressed the part and wore upscale brands. I needed friends who were trendy, who would have all the boys around them. I couldn’t get the attention of any of the super cool kids at this new school because they had the same mindset, and I couldn’t meet their expectations. Because of my “too good for you” attitude my family held at such high standards I spent my time alone before I would make any friends in this new school. I went to city dances, which were held at a local hall. Kids from every school would attend, get sugar highs and run around crazy trying to find their crush to slow dance with. This is where I found my first friends’ group in my life. They were one year younger and went to a different school, but they were so called “popular”, so I stuck with them. This created the mindset that I really was queen bee. I felt like I finally was accepted for who I was, which was the cool girl, and I would do anything to maintain that mindset. Somewhere between the stereotypical movies I grew up on and sick humor, I found it socially acceptable to point out every flaw in those around me and call it joking around. What began as sarcasm turned into straight up bullying, and the more people that laughed at my insults disguised as a “joke” the more it enabled me to keep people interested in me. Halfway through high school, I began another new school in another new city, despite me not living in this city. My mother gave me permission for everything I asked for and was my partner in crime during these few years of my life. She was my best friend, and she wanted me to be happy. I went to school 20 minutes away from where I lived and made new connections that helped shape me into who I am today. It was here that my unintentional rude comments shifted into deliberate and intentional bullying. Once I began at this new school, I began skipping class to get high and shoplift candy from convenience stores. I remember clearly, one day I was at a clothing store with one of my friends, and she wanted to shop lift a new pair of shoes. In her defense, she was a child. She was also in foster care, and her current shoes were so worn down the heel was walking on bare pavement. I didn’t support lifting this time, because it felt like too big of an item to steal. Nevertheless, I watched her as she did, and we continued around the store until our next class began in 30 minutes. She ended up getting caught, as the security guard was suspicious and began watching us on the cameras the minute we walked in. I just got lucky I didn’t steal that day, but I stayed with her while the police were called and she was escorted home. She got abused that night when she got back to her foster home before they removed her from school immediately and sent her to a new family. It would take 10 years and an accidental run in at a play group for our kids for me reconnect and have the chance to ask what happened to her when she got home that day.
By Bethany Lazuli2 years ago in Confessions
Meditate yourself to sleep
As a young child, I struggled to fall asleep every night of my life until I was old enough to smoke weed and get to sleep anytime I needed. I summed it up to having an over active brain that would not stop rambling on about everything all night. I've spent my last few years expanding my knowledge on chakras and energy flow. This expansion has led me into waters I couldn't imagine existed. I've learned how to feel the energy around me, how to send healing vibrations to a friend in need, how to hear angels and the most fun of all, how to experience past lives for karmic healing.
By Bethany Lazuli2 years ago in Psyche
Carmilla's Feast
Sabrina was escorted by limo down a beautiful scenic road towards what assured her to be the most beautiful wedding she had ever attended. An acquaintance from high school was getting married, and despite reconnecting online with this friend over three years ago, she had not seen Truly since graduation. Sabrina cringed at the thought of it. Being the top of her class, socially speaking, she had the “privilege” of hosting senior prank ten years ago. She hated the thought of it but knowing she was about to see Truly made it impossible to forget. Running late to the ceremony, Truly became the pranked rather than the prankster. Sabrina was filled with remorse and was so happy to have an outlet after all these years to finally say what she learned a long time ago. She was wrong, entitled, snobby and borderline idiotic with what she believed she could get away with in high school. This apology prompted a terrific online friendship. Truly was intelligent, artistic, and even though she didn’t come from much, she was incredibly kind. Shuddering at the thought of it, Sabrina attempted to brush it off as she gazed outside the tinted limousine windows in awe of the array of diversity between the trees that made up the canopy over the road.
By Bethany Lazuli2 years ago in Horror