15+ year writer, romance ghostwriter editor, and blog contributor. I love everyone just as they are. We ALL deserve love. Words are the most powerful tool, and most dangerous weapon, we have. Love and kindness can save someone's life! <3
A Mind Shared with Anxiety and Depression
Anxiety: Omg! I’m $50 short on the bills again! And today they sent a disconnect notice! Depression: Shouldn’t have left work early that day. Moron. Anxiety: I had a stomach virus! I almost threw up on my boss! That’s why he SENT me home! Depression: Excuses, excuses. I suppose getting the virus in the first place isn’t your fault, either? Anxiety: I don’t even know where it came from! Depression: That’s what you get for leaving the house, dumbass. Me: Uh, guys… Depression: Don’t you have some mistakes to make? Get lost! Anxiety: Oh no! I think John is mad at me! Depression: Gee, what was your first clue, genius? Anxiety: He hasn’t answered my calls or messages in days! Depression: Maybe you shouldn’t have lied to him. Liar. Anxiety: I did NOT lie! I said I might end up having to work overtime, and I DID! Depression: He probably realized how dumb you are. Even toddlers know that if you tell people “no,” they get mad at you. And who would buy that “working overtime” BS? Anxiety: But it’s true! I would NEVER blow off someone on purpose! And I would certainly never lie about why! I will even prove it, if that’s what it takes to get John to talk to me again! Depression: More proof of your stupidity! No one cares about you, or you wouldn’t have to explain yourself or prove yourself to them. Not that there’s much of an excuse for people like you… Me: Hey, you two! Depression: Hey, Cinderella! The overflowing dishes and filthy floor won’t clean themselves! And no one can smell dinner cooking, either! Get off work, finish the errands, and do your chores, instead of making someone else do it for your lazy ass! Anxiety: I asked for help, like I was told, but the help never came! Now, there’s too much to do and too little time! Depression: You actually believe people when they say they’ll help you, or that they’ll split up the work with you? You’re not just pathetic; you’re almost pitiful! Anxiety: My family said that if I needed any help, just tell them what needs to be done, and they’ll do it! But no one has lifted a finger! I think I have a right to be upset! Depression: HAHA! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year! You have the right… Whew! Oh, if you were always this funny, people might dislike you a little less! Anxiety: Unless I have a clone hidden somewhere, I physically can’t work AND do everything else at the SAME TIME! So yes, I’m upset, because it’s not fair! And I don’t think I should have to draw a map as to why it’s upsetting and unfair! Depression: You know that you look, and sound, like a selfish, narcissistic jackass right now, right? That’s what everyone else will think if you open your mouth. You’ll just make them angry because you had the NERVE to be upset about something so stupid, and then you’ll wallow in my misery until you drag me up to your level. Take my advice: SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP EXPRESSING YOURSELF! Trust me, it’s better that way. Anxiety: But everyone else gets to speak their minds when they’re angry or hurt. Why is it so terrible and selfish when I do it? Depression: Because you’re just the crazy, self-centered, lazy, mood-swinging lunatic! You have mush for brains, a spaghetti backbone, and a heart of stone with a rear to match! You can’t do anything right! So, who do you think YOU are, having feelings or expressing your thoughts? Anxiety: But this is my FAMILY! We’re supposed to be able to rely on each other, talk to each other openly, solve problems TOGETHER, and even lend an occasional hand, even though no one came right out and asked for the help. I thought friends were supposed to be that way, too. I thought these people loved me! Depression: People PITY you. That’s not the same as CARING about you. People ignore, avoid, and disown you, because you’re just too much for them. They think you’re always lying, upset, angry, sad, dramatic, secluded, etc., and they don’t want to be around that kind of negativity. So, you voicing your legitimate concerns and feelings is the perfect excuse for them to lash out at you and run for the hills. Seriously… What good are people doing for you? Me: Isn’t there some way to make this stop? I can’t do this anymore...
After some recent, serious struggles with my illnesses, I decided to write something specifically about anxiety. Whether you battle chronic anxiety or just overwhelming manic days once in on occasion, I hope you find this useful!