Axel P Kulit

If 2020 were a book it would be the Necronomicon. H.P. Lovecraft created a universe where Humans are irrelevant to the Great Old Ones and those who exist between the dimensions. We have plausible candidates for the Idiot God Azathoth and the endlessly baying gods who surround him. We have a candidate for Nyarlathotep the crawling chaos radiating contempt for his masters while pouring chaos into the void and we have the backbench unionist shoggoths. To them humans are as irrelevant as the law.

The Tories are really lucky Coronavirus arrived when it did. They can oscillate between using Brexit to distract the public from their disastrous handling of the Coronavirus pandemic and using their handling of Coronavirus to distract the public from their disastrous handling of the pandemic.

The people with power, money and status hoped things would return to normal. But the pandemic lasted too long. Thousands who had paid day by day to attend an office and bask in the status of not being one of those sweaty little people who worked outdoors, cleaned toilets or helped heal the sick learned that the little people mattered more to society than the squeaky clean office workers in bullshit jobs.

Dear <Redacted> With respect to your request for ideas to deal with possible post Brexit and pandemic economic decline and shortages of food we recommend revival of Jonathan Swift’s modest proposal adapted to modern circumstances.

A recent opinion poll showed that nearly half the population of England and a majority of Tory and Labour voters want England to be independent and that the other nations of the United Kingdom should stand on their own two feet.

The old world we know seems so long ago. We who have been furloughed or can work from home have adapted to a new quasi monastic order where we are allowed out to exercise, attend a doctor or service the economy by buying food and alcohol.