I realize that in the month of July 2006 I was totally depressed and did not desire to get out of bed but just stay there with my head covered crying with no hope. I just became a Believer of Jesus in March and notice some changes I needed to make with my life. I love to do self exploring which I was doing with tears in my eyes wondering what happen in July. I just could not remember but every emotions knew that this was a hard time for me. I asked my family questions and was told this is the month my daddy's mother died of Cancer. The flash back of that time came I do not recall the year but the experience was so clear. For two weeks my dad and I would drive 40 minutes to the hospital after getting daily calls that this is the last day we may see her so come quickly. That was the most stressful two weeks ever in my life. After my grandmother died I so hated driving past that hospital. So, In 2006 I made a declaration that I am a new person in the faith and I will not be bound by unhealthy responses to my deceased loved ones.