Just moving through it.
I Feel Uncertain
Sometimes I think there’s no way I can be vulnerable because I don’t like to cry in public, or post pictures of myself makeup free, or share details of my past. In the generation of social media, we see so much vulnerability showcased (real or not) and we think to ourselves, “I can never be that brave.” What we have to remember about vulnerability is that it’s all inclusive. Maybe that is what one person’s courage looks like, but it doesn’t have to be ours. There is no “right” way to be vulnerable.
The sound of the leaky faucet woke Walter up at 5:45 am again. “God damnit.” Walter slowly sat up, feeling all the aches and pains in his back as he did. He wiped his mouth with the blue checkered handkerchief his wife had given him on his 62nd birthday.
I Remember You
I remember you, the little girl with dreams so large You believed in us so much, I should’ve let you stay in charge You were so good at playing pretend, making up stories in your head
“Attitude is a little thing that can make a big difference” was the brightly colored banner posted on the main wall in my elementary school’s lunchroom. From the time we are young, we are taught that if we can have a “good” attitude then success will be ours. What we aren’t taught is how to program them. Attitudes can feel like something out of our control. We can feel ourselves start to spiral down a rabbit hole of negativity when the lady in front of us grabs the last cinnamon bagel at the coffee shop. They can feel like something that is just happening to us in the moment with no way to get out or life raft to grab onto. And in a way, they are. They’re the reaction that our minds have programmed in us to protect us from anything “bad” or “unknown” or “unexpected”. The issue is that this programming doesn't always take into account all the wonderful things that can come out of these “unexpected” moments. It takes a lot of retraining to be able to create the attitudes we want to experience so I’ve come up with some tools that by utilizing regularly, I believe can help bring a little more clarity and joy to our attitudes and to our lives.
Eat the Damn Pasta
I know you. You probably have your cute matching gym clothes on. You’ve probably saved a workout to do by one of your favorite fitness influencers on Instagram. You might have even stretched, foam rolled, drank your pre workout… but you probably won’t go to the gym. Why? You tell yourself that you’re too tired and your left ankle hurts and you have a headache and you make all the excuses but the real truth is that you just don’t want to have to KEEP doing it. You don’t want to have to start holding yourself accountable because hey, this is comfy right? You are doing fine for now, right? So let’s just relax on the couch and maybe try again next week.
Wow. 2020. Am I right? At least we’ve made it this far?? Nobody, not our scientists, not our president, not our astrologists or the crystal lady at the bookstore down the street could have predicted any of the unique madness we endured this year. So how could we possibly send out a holiday card that captures all of the ups and downs (okay, mostly downs) this year gave us, while still trying to seem cheery and somewhat hopeful for the next year???