Ambrosia Vibes
Bio
Stories (7/0)
Never Change
I will never claim to be a life or relationship expert, nor will I ever claim that my way is better than anyone else. Each of us is walking our own path, dealing with our own tribulations. There is no one size fits all solution. I will say that I am an observant person that is always looking for the lessons in the moment. It took some time to get there but the person I am today is someone I am proud to be. I believe that in order to level up we must always be willing to learn. It wasn't always like that. Before my healing journey I had many bad ideas on how to deal with life. I had a totally different mindset. One that kept leading down a path of results that I didn't want. Let's talk about my mind before I woke up to reality.
By Ambrosia Vibesabout a year ago in Motivation
Sinful Devotion
"100, 99, 98,97......ugh it's never going to work" I whine to the night air. Whoever had said that counting sheep would put you to sleep clearly had a very sheltered existence. 2am. Awesome. I have to be awake in exactly 3 hours for work. Another day of shoving coffee down my throat and praying the exhaustion waits till I get home. Wouldnt it be nice to just sit down and fall right to sleep like normal people do. Insomnia had become part of my life whether I liked it or not. I haven't had a good night's sleep since he left. Oh no, don't go there. Don't think about him and don't let the name slip out of your mouth. As if by command my lips whispered "Erik". Annoyed with myself I roll my eyes and curse. There has got to be something wrong with me. "Get it together Tina" I think to myself as I roll into a sitting position. 25 push-ups should help me get tired. Ironically these late night work out sessions were doing great things for my body. The muscles in my legs have become more defined and my pants and bras are loose. I already had long curves, working out had deepened them. Accented the true roundness of my hips and bottom. It made me feel more confident and sexier. Still I could care less.
By Ambrosia Vibesabout a year ago in Filthy
Addictive Sin
"Not Happening Tonight!" I tell myself as I lock the doors and secure the windows to my home. I don't know who I am trying to convince...myself or the invisible person I seem to be talking to. "It's an addiction and it's bad for you!" I say out loud, again to nobody. As I walk up the stairs to my room, I feel the slow sinking sensation of loneliness set in, the deep fear creeping up my spine like a slow slithering centipede with its millions of itchy tiny sharp legs. It's over. I am the one that said no more so why do I feel so wrong. As if on cue I feel a purr between my legs. "Oh, Hell No!" I shout as I throw on the hot water in the shower. "I can do this; I can cut off any man because I am a strong independent woman." I lie to the water, as I slowly slide off my night gown and step into the hot steaming stream that would hopefully carry away my sorrows. Yet knowing deep down inside, that I was in for the ride of my life. Telling myself that no matter if he listened and stayed away or if he came for me like he usually did, I'd be ok. It was horrible and unhealthy but omg the sex was incredible. It didn't matter what happened between us, our bodies knew exactly what they wanted and weren't taking no for an answer. Addiction and yet.... I loved it. I've loved a man before, by my age most of us have. Rob was different. His body was molded from my fantasies of teenage years. His smile made the rest of the room disappear and the sound of his voice set my skin on fire.
By Ambrosia Vibesabout a year ago in Filthy
Broken by Life
Hello and welcome to my broken mind. I implore you to understand that the sentences you are reading and the world that you are about to dive into could be triggering and even dangerous on some levels. You see, I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Every single day in my mind the world is both pure bliss and utter hell, a rainbow of emotions with no end, only extremes. Nothing is ever simple in my mind. Feeling a thirst can and will turn my brain into a tornado of unsure thoughts. Have I drunk enough water today? Should I have any more caffeine? Do I want something hot or cold? So many questions over a simple need to drink something, so I settle on the easy answer.... water. You would think that is where it ends right, Haha, you'd be wrong. Now that I have drank the water, I am completely and utterly feel let down on the fact that I had other options and failed to give them enough thought. Yet oddly enough I am proud that I took the healthier option. Now that my thirst is satisfied, I wonder, could I have taken a sweeter and more enjoyable option such as a soda. I am really not supposed to have soda, way too many calories and way too much sugar but it would have been nice for the moment.
By Ambrosia Vibes2 years ago in Psyche