Writing is my passion and life blood, it is something that brings me happiness and helps me heal. I hope to share what I have made with you all, taking something frayed, tattered and broken from life and making it beautiful.
Society as a whole tells us to marry and be happy. Books of old have said to be fruitful and become many and fill the earth. It also alludes to those who can make room for singleness to do so and they will prosper. So, what is the better of the two choices? Each must choose for themselves what path they shall take and only each individual can know for sure what is best for them. Each path has its own rewards and no one can walk each path simultaneously. Some marry, some stay single, some are in committed relationships without the labels and others just give up on the whole ordeal.
I hate that I gave them children, a lifelong bond. I will forever be just a piece of ass they lost. I was never and will never be someone they cherished.
Parents are Made, Not Born Every person was brought into the world because two humans came together and with a combined effort they were made. Anyone with working parts and the ability to assemble a simple jigsaw puzzle can begin the process of making a baby. Making a human is easy; the hard part is becoming the parent that they will need and deserve to have. This task is not for the faint of heart some walk away and give up or never show up to see through this joint endeavor. Many nights are spent sleepless, sacrifices made daily, efforts go unnoticed, tears are cried out of joy, fear, and pain. So why do people take on this task if it is so difficult and taxing? People continue this ritual out of a basic physiological drive and pure ignorance of the path that is ahead. Children may be created in mere moments but parents are developed over a lifetime through experience and with a self-sacrificing spirit.
Trinidad speaks to me with a strong roar followed by a soft whisper it calls me home. Waves rise up in the powerful ocean curling inward looking deep within itself. Displaying its beauty shining as clearly as glass for a few brief seconds before it crashes in and shatters with immense force. The water then softly fades away and leaves behind an untouched surface that gleams like a mirror on the shore. My feet are grounded in the damp coarse sand that welcomes me latching to my skin. Cool wisps of wind wrap around me and roughly kisses my face leaving behind lightly blushed cheeks and tiny scratches. Salty air fills my lungs and nourishes my soul reviving my spirit and charging my body with its immense energy. Gloomy grey clouds roll high above as seagulls swirl and sing their songs, swiftly swooping down to claim their prize of a sea creature meal.
Her mind buzzed with excitement and worry, unsure of what path to take next. As if in a knee jerk reflex, she decided to walk to the art gallery and distract herself for the afternoon until she was truly ready to decide for herself what she should do. Standing in the art exhibit, surrounded by an array of beautiful and unique displays, she found herself caught in a trance, as if one piece spoke to her. In a dark corner to her right a single ray of golden sunlight danced, highlighting a delicate artifact that was suspended by a single golden thread. In harsh contrast, a frail rusted birdcage that was weathered and old, housed the delicate creation.
The marks of a mother are etched on her abdomen, once her favorite region to display. Now a canvas of her children’s first of many accomplishments. If nowhere else they have left their mark on her in this world. Full of life that is eager to be lived. Sad for all the heartache and pain that she has endured.
He is beating on the bathroom door now thunderous and strong. This is not a threat or a warning it is only a sign of what is to come. It is like the rumble in the clouds before the lightnings strikes and cracks in the sky and lights it up. There is sure to be more this is only the beginning. My skin is hot and my heart is racing faster than it ever has before. I barricaded myself in the bathroom of our tiny one-bedroom apartment in desperation. On the cool linoleum floor, I brace my body against the door, feet planted and hands trembling. I hear him loading things up against the door, so if I budge at all he will know. I can smell the mildew from the cheap shower curtain hanging beside me, the shower drips in a nerve wearing fashion. I am trapped! The window is no bigger than a shoe box I feel like a rabbit caught in a snare desperate to escape. The tears stream down my face I have lost all control how has my life come to this. I feel my stomach tighten and roll.