“I have driven down this piece of the highway many times. I really should know it with my eyes taped shut. Something just doesn’t feel right though.” Why does it feel like I am going the wrong way? As I converse with myself and Diesel; who isn’t paying me much attention, other than to see if I have something like a quick snack that he can partake in. I glance at my phone’s map and then quickly back at the bright green luminescent signs meticulously spaced on the interstate. Looking at one, then looking at the next mile marker. Yep, going the right way. It just feels like I am headed in the wrong direction. Way, way, way back of my mind I knew why I felt this way, I was just to scared to be honest with myself for fear of what my family, friends or any other person who thought they were entitled to an opinion about what I should do with my life or what I should do would think. Of course, they know what’s best for me! Wait, do they really? Do they know what the desires of my heart are or how miserable and unfilled my life feels? Do they really know what makes me happy, what gives me joy? No, not really because they haven’t taken the time to ask what I want. Their intentions are in the right place, they only want to protect me and see me succeed according to the time old formula of how people succeed. Go to school, get a degree, work, get a home, pay your bills and if you have something left over then you enjoy yourself going somewhere temporarily, but right back to the habit of life. So, I sat there with eyes full of tears because I knew that while I know consistency and stability are important that is not the life I have ever seen myself existing within; not the same robotically programmed life that most people live. When I did it often lead to me feeling incomplete and like I was going through the motions, something was always missing. I had always felt like God gave me all these wonderful abilities and I am just supposed to hide them, sit on them because others couldn’t see? That can’t be right. I had to decide, either continue to settle and be miserable or get uncomfortable and at least try and see what happens. So, I called one of my best friends and gave her the run down of what I just experienced. Not at all surprised by her response she replies, “V you know what that means?” Like a little girl wanting to throw a temper tantrum; because I didn’t want to hear those words, although I knew exactly what she was referring to, without her specifically stating, but I didn’t want to face it. Facing it would force me to make a decision that went against what other people thought. I dreaded that, I was so fearful of that. That—standing up for me, taking a chance on me, going against the grain.