We have all been affected by Covid-19 one way or another, it is a commonality among all people regardless of age, race, gender, or political affiliation. These times we are now living in will undoubtedly bring about stress to each one of us at one time or another. It will be helpful if we create some tools to help us cope with the pressure and strain this pandemic has created for us.
It's 5 am, your alarm blares, you sleepily open your eyes, you slowly go to a sitting position, one foot on the ground, 2 foot. You stand up and ever so slowly make your way to the kitchen to prepare yourself a much needed cup o' joe. You're so tired and your mood is low, you don't know how you'll make it through the day. You impatiently wait, then finally beep, beep, beep, coffee's done. Pouring that sweet drink of the god's and smelling that delicious aroma is already awakening your senses. You put some creamer and sweetener in, your favorite flavor-hazelnut, slowly bring to your lips and take that first sweet sip.... Aaaaahhhh. You feel relief, and as you continue drinking that blessed Colombian brew, you begin to feel your senses come alive, your heart beats a little faster, you move a bit more confidently, and joy fills your soul. You can now start your day.
I have struggled with alcohol throughout my life. From 2014 to 2016 I quit for 2 years and 4 days. I had a slip when I was on vacation, I wasn’t prepared for the circumstances and I chose to drink one night. I secretly drank after that slip, on and off for about 3 months. I then got back on the wagon and made it another 9 months sober, until I decided to quit smoking. When I quit smoking my anxiety was through the roof in the early days. I chose to use alcohol to combat that anxiety, I told myself ‘at least I’m not smoking’. I wasn’t smoking cigarettes but I was unleashing a demon I had thought I put to rest already.
I have a unique role in life as I was given up for adoption at birth and many years later history repeated itself and I went on to give my own daughter up for adoption. Before you judge me please listen to my story.
I walk down this lonely, barren road, not knowing what I’ll find. No trees or mountains in the distance, just a vast empty space of nothingness.
That day you looked into my eyes