The Fire Flies
I’ve always been a lonely man, but back then it didn’t feel so lonely; it was just life and I was good at living it. Each day would pass with little resemblance to anything remotely enlightening or life changing. I would wake up and brush my teeth, comb the last few hairs that I had on the top of my head and set out to work; ready to accumulate another dollar for the day. Driving to work I was left in a zombie like state not really being coherent of the street lights or even pedestrians walking by; my brain filtering them out as if they were a floater in my eye, instead my body just knew what to do, I would blink and I would be at work, blink again and I will be at home. Routine engulfed my life and I didn’t see anything wrong with it, it was normal for forty two years and I had no interest in changing it. People would tell me the usual; I need to find a wife; I need to have kids; hell I need friends, my response would always be the same “why?” No one ever gave me a good reason to why I needed these things, they just told me I was suppose have these things, that I was suppose to want these things. Wanting anything in my opinion was over rated, wanting is the equivalent to desire and I knew that desire led to risks; something I always avoided and judging by the scenarios that played out in other peoples lives it was best not to desire anything or anyone.
